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What Is Needed from Next of Kin for Burial and Cremation in White Plains, NY?

Fri, 10 Apr 2026 13:00:22 GMT

Summary

The next of kin typically provides authorization for burial or cremation.
Funeral homes often need identification, vital information, and signed authorization forms.
Documentation requirements vary by state but generally include permit and death certificate details.
Funeral directors guide families through each step with compassion and clarity.

What Is Needed from Next of Kin for Burial and Cremation

Families in White Plains, New York often ask what is required from the next of kin when planning burial or cremation arrangements. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), written authorization from the legal next of kin is generally required before any final arrangements can move forward.

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) explains that this authorization supports transparency under the Funeral Rule and helps ensure families receive clear and accurate information. The next of kin—often a spouse, adult child, parent, or legal representative—usually holds the authority to approve funeral, burial, or cremation decisions.

Identification and Documentation Requirements

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) highlights the importance of accurate documentation when preparing an official death certificate. Funeral homes often request the following information from the next of kin:

A government-issued photo ID for the next of kin.
Vital information about the deceased, including legal name, date of birth, parents’ names, and Social Security number.
A signed authorization form for burial or cremation.
Information needed to complete the official death certificate.

These documents help ensure that arrangements meet legal requirements and reflect a family’s wishes.

Why Authorization Matters

Authorization helps confirm that all final arrangements follow legal guidelines and honor a family’s preferences. For burial , the next of kin may need to complete a burial permit and confirm cemetery or vault selections. For cremation , a Cremation Authorization Form is typically required, and some regions may require a waiting period or medical examiner approval.

Funeral directors at Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services offer compassionate guidance throughout this process, helping families in White Plains, New York feel supported and informed.

FAQs

Who is considered the next of kin?

The next of kin is typically a spouse, adult child, parent, or legal representative with the authority to make funeral, burial, or cremation decisions.

What documents are needed before burial or cremation?

Most funeral homes request a government-issued ID, essential information for the death certificate, and a signed authorization form from the next of kin.

Do requirements vary by state?

Yes. Documentation requirements often differ depending on the state or region, so families should consult their funeral home for guidance specific to their area.

Written for Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services, proudly serving families in White Plains, New York with compassion and care.

About Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services

Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services is honored to support families throughout White Plains, New York. Their dedicated staff provides steady guidance through each step of funeral and cremation planning. Located at 2 Maple Avenue, White Plains, NY 10601, families may reach them at (914) 949-0566 for compassionate assistance.

www.ballarddurand.com

Why Do Funeral & Cremation Costs Vary in White Plains, New York?

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 14:00:33 GMT

Summary

• Funeral and cremation costs often vary based on location, facilities, staffing, and available service options.

• Families in White Plains may see differences in price due to higher urban operating costs and expanded amenities.

• Personalization, professional care, and the level of support chosen all influence total expenses.

• The FTC’s Funeral Rule ensures families receive transparent, itemized pricing for comparison.

Why Do Funeral and Cremation Costs Vary?

Families in White Plains often ask why funeral and cremation costs differ between funeral homes. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), pricing variations are common and typically reflect the region, the level of services offered, and the resources each funeral home provides. All national data and averages referenced are accurate as of 2025.

Regional and Overhead Differences

Urban communities like White Plains often face higher staffing, facility, and property-related expenses than smaller or rural areas. These increased operational costs may be reflected in funeral and cremation pricing but can also support more modern amenities and flexible service spaces. Differences in overhead costs are one of the most common factors influencing price variation between funeral homes.

Facilities, Services, and Personalization

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) requires funeral homes to offer a General Price List (GPL), ensuring families have clear, itemized pricing. Funeral homes with on-site crematories, larger chapels, and reception areas typically require more staffing and maintenance, which may influence cost. Prices may also vary depending on whether a family chooses a traditional funeral , cremation with a ceremony, or direct cremation, as well as optional personalization such as music, video tributes, flowers, or catered gatherings.

Professional Care and Transparency

The Cremation Association of North America (CANA) notes that the expertise of trained funeral professionals is an essential part of the total value families receive. Behind every arrangement is a team managing preparation, transportation, paperwork, coordination, and ongoing support. Families are encouraged to compare GPLs between providers to find the level of care and service that aligns with their needs and wishes.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do funeral prices vary between funeral homes?

Prices often differ based on location, staffing, facilities, and the level of personalization offered, according to the NFDA.

Are funeral homes required to give families a price list?

Yes. The FTC’s Funeral Rule requires funeral homes to provide a detailed General Price List (GPL) before any decisions are made.

Can preplanning help manage funeral or cremation costs?

Yes. Preplanning may help families secure current prices, clearly document their wishes, and ease emotional and financial stress later on.

Written for Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services, proudly serving families in White Plains with compassion and care.

About Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services

Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has supported families in White Plains and the surrounding communities for generations. The funeral home is dedicated to offering clear guidance, personalized options, and compassionate service tailored to each family’s unique needs.

www.ballarddurand.com

How Much Does Cremation Cost in White Plains, NY?

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 14:00:18 GMT

Summary

• According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the national median cost of a funeral with cremation is $6,280 as of 2025.
• A direct cremation, which does not include a ceremony, typically ranges from $2,800 to $3,000.
• Cremation costs vary based on service type, merchandise choices, and local factors.
• Families in White Plains can choose options that honor their loved one’s wishes.

How Much Does Cremation Cost?

Families in White Plains, NY, often ask how much cremation costs and what influences the total price. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) 2024 General Price List Study, the national median cost of a funeral with cremation is $6,280 as of 2025. This commonly includes professional services, transportation, and the use of facilities for a memorial or gathering.

For families seeking a simpler option, direct cremation—without a ceremony—typically ranges from $2,800 to $3,000. Even with this streamlined option, funeral professionals ensure that every step of the process is handled with dignity and respect.

Factors That Influence Cremation Costs

Cremation costs may vary depending on whether a service is held, the type of merchandise selected, and the level of personalization . Families may also choose an urn or keepsake that reflects their loved one’s wishes.

Local factors in and around White Plains can also influence pricing. Funeral homes offering on-site crematories or expanded facilities may have different overhead costs. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) requires funeral homes to provide a General Price List (GPL) to support transparency and help families make informed decisions.

Planning ahead can help families manage costs, protect against inflation, and ensure personal wishes are clearly documented.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is cremation typically more affordable than burial?

Yes. Cremation is often more affordable because it usually does not require cemetery property, a burial vault, or a casket, though final costs vary based on service choices.

Can families still hold a service with cremation?

Yes. Many families in White Plains choose to hold a funeral , memorial, or celebration of life either before or after the cremation process.

What does direct cremation usually include?

Direct cremation typically includes transportation, basic professional services, care of the deceased, and the cremation itself, without a formal ceremony.

Written for Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services, proudly serving families in White Plains with compassion and care.

About Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services

Families in White Plains, NY, can turn to Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services for compassionate, professional guidance. Located at 2 Maple Avenue, White Plains, NY 10601, the caring team can be reached at (914) 949-0566 to discuss cremation options and preplanning services.

www.ballarddurand.com

How Much Does a Funeral Cost in White Plains, NY?

Fri, 09 Jan 2026 14:00:37 GMT

Summary

The median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial is about $8,300, according to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA).
The median cost of a funeral with cremation is around $6,280, based on NFDA’s 2024 national study.
Funeral costs vary depending on service choices, merchandise selections, and the level of personalization a family prefers.
Understanding national averages helps families in White Plains make informed decisions when planning a meaningful tribute.

How Much Does a Funeral Cost?

Families in White Plains, NY, often wonder what influences the cost of a funeral. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the median cost of a funeral with viewing and burial is around $8,300, while a funeral with cremation averages about $6,280. These national numbers, accurate as of 2025, provide helpful context when beginning to plan.

Funeral costs vary because every family has unique needs, traditions, and priorities. A traditional funeral with a viewing, ceremony, and burial may involve multiple components that affect the total cost. A funeral followed by cremation typically includes many of the same professional services but may differ in merchandise or final placement choices.

Additional factors also influence cost. These may include transportation needs, use of facilities, and the level of personalization a family prefers. It is important to know that NFDA averages do not include cemetery expenses, which vary by location and are typically billed separately.

Most funeral services typically include the professional expertise of the funeral director and staff, care of the deceased, use of the funeral home’s facilities for visitations or ceremonies, and transportation. Families may choose merchandise—such as caskets, urns, or memorial items—based on their preferences and the type of service they select.

Planning ahead can offer peace of mind. When families understand general cost structures and service options, it becomes easier to make thoughtful choices and create a meaningful tribute.

Frequently Asked Questions

What factors influence the total cost of a funeral?

Funeral costs often depend on the type of service, merchandise selections, and the level of personalization a family chooses.

Are cemetery costs included in national funeral averages?

No. Cemetery costs—such as plots, markers, and opening and closing fees—are generally not included in NFDA national averages.

Does choosing cremation always cost less than burial?

Not necessarily. While the median cost for a funeral with cremation is typically lower, overall cost depends on the services and merchandise selected.

Written for Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services, proudly serving families in White Plains with compassion and care.

About Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services

Families in White Plains, NY, can turn to Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services for caring and professional guidance when planning ahead. Located at 2 Maple Avenue, White Plains, NY 10601, their dedicated staff can be reached at (914) 949-0566 to answer questions about funeral planning and available options.

www.ballarddurand.com

What is the Day of the Dead?

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Fri, 10 Oct 2025 16:45:02 GMT

Day of the Dead is a two-day Mexican celebration beginning on October 31 and ending on November 2. The multi-day holiday involves family and friends gathering to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died. In Mexican culture, death is viewed as a natural part of the human cycle. Mexicans view it not as a day of sadness, but as a day of celebration because their loved ones awake and celebrate with them.

It is a lovely celebration. The spirits are not feared but are embraced. Prayers are offered to help the deceased on their journey. Graves are tended and decorated with flowers, usually marigolds. Whole families go to the cemetery, they bring favorite foods and memories about the deceased are shared.

The holiday dates back 2,500 – 3,000 years to the ancient pre-Columbian culture of ancient Mexico. Although Day of the Dead festivities happen at the same time as the American holiday Halloween, they are not the same. The tone of Day of the Dead celebrations is full of color and joy whereas Halloween is dark and mysterious. In the ancient Mexican tradition, the dead are still considered members of the community, kept alive in memory and spirit.

Altars built to honor the dead include the four elements, water, earth, wind, and fire. A water pitcher sits on the alter for the spirits to drink from. Wind is represented in small colorful flags that flutter in the breeze and a candle is present to represent fire. Finally, the food, especially bread, symbolize earth.

This year when you see the those brightly painted skeletons, you’ll understand that they are not about Halloween but are part of a holiday that celebrates family and friends who have gone before. How nice is that?

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Death and Taxes

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 03 Apr 2025 12:00:14 GMT

Death and taxes (seemingly unlikely bed fellows at first glance) are often linked together because they have long been considered unavoidable life events. Some even say they are the only two things that are certain in life. Neither is something people typically look forward to, but they are both events that are anticipated and can be prepared for in advance.

This is the time of year when folks hope they have prepared well for their taxes. Even in these difficult times, taxes are something that can’t be ignored and must be taken care of. Most people prefer to get a tax refund rather than a tax bill. They hope the calculations have been made correctly and the payments made throughout the year will be enough to offset the sting of a big tax bill come April 15 ^th .

Hmmm… come to think about it, most folks don’t typically look forward to a big funeral bill at the end of their life either. Few want to leave their family responsible for funeral costs. However, many people don’t plan to offset that expense like they do their taxes.

Even though most people, 62.5 percent according to the National Funeral Directors Association ’s (NFDA) annual Consumer Awareness and Preferences Study, think it’s important to plan in advance. Only a small percentage (21.4 percent) actually act on their good intentions. Why? They have the perception that prepaying is too costly.

Most people are unaware that prepaying does not mean you must pay in one single payment. Many funeral homes offer specialized programs that allow funerals to be paid in advance, just like taxes, in small, easily-digested bites. Payments can be made on a variety of schedules allowing the consumer the opportunity to choose how long to stretch out payments and how often to make those payments. Individuals can even choose to make one payment per year! That means a person could choose to put their tax refund toward their funeral.

What about that roughly one quarter of people who do go beyond thinking they should make a funeral plan and actually make one? How do they feel once they have their plan in place? Ahh, they feel good. Funeral planners often say they see shoulders go down, hear audible sighs of relief and get hugs at the conclusion of a planning session. It’s like cleaning out the junk drawer: something most folks put off, but when they dig in and get it done, it feels so good they just keep going back to sneak a peek at that drawer all in order.

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My Financial Advisor Doesn’t Think It’s a Good Idea to Preplan My Funeral

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 06 Mar 2025 13:00:07 GMT

The butcher, the baker, the candle stick maker. Does anyone go to the butcher for a candle? Would anyone even think of asking the funeral director for investment advice? The financial advisor, while very knowledgeable about money and investments, has little experience in helping a family honor the life of someone they love. Yesterday you could hold the hand of your loved one, today you must figure out how to say good-bye. Tomorrow you will begin the difficult task of living without the one you love. In the midst of all of this you will need to plan and pay for a funeral service. Helping families navigate those difficult days or to plan for this inevitable event is the job of the funeral director.

Accessing the dollars to pay for a funeral is where the financial planner can help. A financial planner who is familiar with a family’s financial resources can help them decide how and when to pay for a funeral. In a perfect world the investor, that’s you, would not die on a day the market was down, or just as his stocks were on the rise. He would die when it is a good time to take the cost of his funeral out of his investments. His heirs would not be burdened with tax consequences. Truth be told, life just does not always work out perfectly. We do not decide when we die.

This is what you can do. Plan the funeral with your funeral director. Talk to her about service options that will help your family cope with your loss. Talk to her about how much you are comfortable spending. Become educated about the advance payment options that are offered through the funeral home.

Ask if you can pay for your funeral in monthly payments over a few years. Ask what happens if you die before you complete all payments. Many funeral homes fund funerals with insurance products designed just to pay for funerals. That can mean the funeral will be paid for by the insurance company should death occur before your payments are completed.

Ask what happens if the cost of your funeral increases between now and when you die. Is there protection available for funeral inflation?

Talk to your spouse. If you die first, who will pay for the funeral? Where will the money come from? Will there be tax consequences? Would it be easier for the one who will be responsible if the funeral plan were funded? Decide what will work best for your family.

Now, go to your financial advisor. Ask him if you should pay for your funeral in one single payment now, or should you take advantage of one of the payment plans? Share all the information you receive from the funeral home. Get financial advice, not permission, from the one who looks through the lens of the dollars, the financial advisor. Get your funeral planning advice from the one who helps families cope with death, the funeral director. Make your decisions for the ones you love, with the ones you love, your family.

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Where Not to Scatter Cremated Remains

info@ballarddurand.com (Ballard-Durand Admin) — Thu, 23 Jan 2025 19:58:48 GMT

For many folks the absolute “best” final resting place is someplace they loved when they were alive. Their “burial” plan is not to be buried at all, but to be cremated and have their ashes scattered at a special location. For those who prefer scattering there are a wide variety of options available. Still, not every scattering idea is a good idea. To help you determine if your scattering plan is a good plan be sure to consider these four things.

1. Think about the location of your choice. Is it legal and will it work? With permission from the owner of the golf course ashes could be scattered. Without permission scattering on private property that belongs to someone else is not legal and may not go smoothly.

2. As you put together your plan keep in mind scattering does not eliminate emotion. Family members tasked with scattering a loved one’s ashes experience the same emotions as those who stand at the graveside and watch the casket being lowered into the ground. No amount of creativity in the selection of the location will eliminate the emotion of the task.

3. You need a plan. “Just scatter me” is not a plan, it is a shift of responsibility. Someone in your family is going to be required to figure out when and where this scattering will take place if you do not.

4. Seek professional advice. Your funeral director can help you plan and prepare for a successful scattering.

Scattering at sea

There are laws. Federal law protects the oceans. See United States Environmental Protection Agency Burial at Sea for detailed policy information. Scattering in the ocean must take place at least three miles from shore, the ashes can go in, the container may not. That is unless it is biodegradable, then both the container and its contents can be commissioned to the sea. The expense of purchasing a proper biodegradable cremation urn is money well spent. The sea will be moving, maybe a little, or maybe even a lot. A smooth operation is critical to everyone feeling good about the dignity of the ceremony. Your funeral director can help you find a proper container for scattering at sea.

Consider using an offshore scattering service instead of a friend with a boat for the actual ceremony. A service gives your family the benefit of experience. They will know how to position the boat in relation to the wind and waves in order to assure a pleasant experience. Professionals will also be prepared for the needs of the family on board. They will not be surprised or unprepared for sea sickness of guests. Your funeral director is your best resource for finding this kind of service.

Scattering on public lands

States have jurisdiction over public lands and waterways within their boundaries. Laws vary widely from state to state. Be sure to ask your funeral director about the laws in your state. Seek advice and take care to be sure the scattering ceremony your family has planned will not run into an embarrassing roadblock midway into the ceremony. Share your plan and ask for the professional advice of your funeral director.

Scattering on private property

Scattering on private property requires the permission of the property owner. Resist the temptation to skip the permission step. Scattering on property that is not your own without permission is a recipe for disaster.

In addition to giving careful consideration to the scattering location it is always a good idea to consider the feelings of the mourners. It is easy to move forward with the desire of the deceased to be scattered and still satisfy the needs of mourners who may not be entirely comfortable with scattering. All that is required is good communication. Talk to your family about your plan well in advance. Find out who is and who may not be comfortable with your desire.

One of the lovely things about cremation is that the ashes can easily be divided. A family member can retain a small portion of the remains in a keepsake urn, garden bench, paperweight or even a piece of cremation jewelry. The remainder can then be scattered according to the wishes of the deceased.

One final consideration if you are thinking of leaving your family scattering instructions -be sure to think it through. Consider how your desire will play out for at least the next two or three generations. Will your beloved garden still be in the family? Or might the property be sold? Who will keep the urn after your wife dies, how about after your daughter dies? Think about how those who mourn you may be impacted by your desire to be scattered.

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Funerals of Our Presidents

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 09 Jan 2025 16:28:02 GMT

A funeral offers a chance to say goodbye, but how do we say our farewells to those who forged the path of our nation? Presidential funerals have proven to be groundbreaking occasions that set the tone for how the nation grieves. Let’s take a look at how we as a country said goodbye to some of our most beloved leaders.

Funerals of Our Presidents

George Washington

Our first president passed on Dec. 14, 1799 , with the request that he not be buried for three days’ time. George Washington had a great fear of being buried alive , which was why he asked for the three days. During that time, he was held in a mahogany casket in Mount Vernon’s New Room.

On Dec. 18, his military funeral was held in Mount Vernon and became a template for future funerals honoring military officers. As Washington was a devout member of the Anglican Church and a Freemason, both Anglican and Masonic burial services were conducted in his honor. After his pastor gave the eulogy, 11 artillery pieces on shore were fired off, answering the echo of the minute guns’ crack from a schooner on the Potomac River. He was buried in a tomb in his beloved Mount Vernon.

John Adams

Our second president passed on the 50th anniversary of the passage of the Declaration of Independence. He was entombed in Quincy, Massachusetts , on July 7, 1826. Minute guns were fired from Mount Wollaston throughout the entirety of the ceremony, with several adjoining towns joining in with ways of paying homage of their own, with bells tolling throughout Massachusetts and beyond.

Thomas Jefferson

Though Thomas Jefferson and Adams fought very publicly for a time, they rekindled their friendship in their later years. Perhaps their brotherhood is why they passed on the same day . On July 4, 1826, Jefferson passed around noon after falling into a coma the previous day. It’s said that Adams fell into unconsciousness around that time before awaking again at around 5:30 P.M. to say his final words, reportedly either “Thomas Jefferson survives” or “Thomas Jefferson still lives.”

Jefferson himself had requested a simple ceremony . No invitations were sent out, though friends and visitors were welcome to go to the gravesite once he was buried. He is believed to have been buried in a simple, wooden coffin. He was laid to rest in the Monticello graveyard just one day after his death on July 5.

Abraham Lincoln

It was believed that when the 16th president was assassinated, dying on April 15, 1865, the American citizens were not yet ready to say goodbye. So, they were given a chance to . Although Mary Lincoln wanted her husband to take a direct route to where he’d be laid to rest in Springfield, Missouri, Lincoln’s secretary of war, Edwin Stanton, convinced her to approve a path that saw him retrace the steps he took from Springfield to the nation’s capital four years earlier. The president was embalmed, a relatively new process at the time, to allow citizens to say goodbye to him in the form they remembered him in.

At each stop on the railroad journey, thousands came out to see Lincoln. In fact, the trip was largely considered a unifying force for the Democrats and Republicans in the North during such a divisive time. Alongside Lincoln on his journey was the body of his 11-year-old son, Willie, who died of typhoid three years earlier. When the funeral procession ended at Oak Ridge Cemetery in Springfield and following an hour-long eulogy, both father and son were laid to rest in a limestone vault, with the doors and iron grating then shuttered.

Theodore Roosevelt

At the time of Theodore Roosevelt’s death , the then-vice president, Thomas Marshall, said, “Death had to take Roosevelt sleeping, for if he had been awake, there would have been a fight.” The 26th president, known for his strength, died on Jan. 6, 1919, in his sleep after suffering a coronary embolism, though his health had been declining for some time.

Not one for grandiose affairs, a private farewell service was held at his home, Sagamore Hill, in Oyster Bay, New York. A modest funeral was then held at Christ Episcopal Church in Oyster Bay before Roosevelt was buried on a hillside on Jan. 8 in Youngs Memorial Cemetery, overlooking the town. A bugler blew Taps as family members and dignitaries walked up the snow-covered hill to the burial site. When the ceremony ended, only one person stayed behind — former President William Howard Taft, who stood by his sometimes political ally, sometimes foe’s grave weeping long after everyone else had left.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt

FDR’s health had long been declining, a secret hidden from the public, but by the time he entered his fourth term, that secret became harder to keep. FDR was getting frailer with every photograph, and he eventually passed on April 12, 1945, in Warm Springs, Georgia . The Ferdinand Magellan train brought him back to Washington on April 14, where he was then carried on a caisson from Union Station to the White House. Over 500,000 people gathered silently to watch the procession before hundreds of mourners were invited to pay their respects and see the president a final time in the White House’s East Room.

Recognizing that the nation was at war and that many citizens were overseas, FDR requested a simple funeral with few formalities. Following the service, he was returned back to Union Station, where he’d begin an overnight journey to Hyde Park, New York. He was then brought to the edge of a meadow below his home, where a battalion of cadets awaited him. U.S. Army Air Force P-47s flew overhead, and once he was lowered into the ground, an honor guard of cadets fired over the grave.

The funerals of presidents signal a time of a nation in mourning. Much has changed over the years from the days of Washington’s burial, and one could argue that Lincoln’s funeral truly set that tone. It became normalized for the public to be allowed a chance to say goodbye as well, whether that be through a funeral procession or a viewing. Presidential funerals are as much a chance for us all to say farewell to a fallen leader as it is for us to come together as a nation.

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Celebrity Funerals and Ceremonies

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 02 Jan 2025 13:00:06 GMT

On February 24 ^th , twenty thousand mourners filled downtown Los Angeles' Staples Center — “the house that Kobe built” — to celebrate the lives of the 41-year-old Lakers star and his 13-year-old daughter, who were killed alongside seven others in the crash in Calabasas. With tears streaming down his face, Michael Jorden spoke about his “big brother” mentoring relationship with Kobe. Beyoncè sang KO, one of Kobe’s favorites, and his wife Vanessa bravely spoke about her daughter, her husband, and her loss.

Kobe’s life is not the first to be celebrated in a large public way. Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, and John McCain all had funeral services that were shared with large groups of their fans or followers. These very large and very public funerals acknowledge the family’s loss is our loss too. They help the community heal.

We may not have ever had a face to face conversation or sat down to break bread with any of these people, but we loved them. Kobe was a master of his game and it was pure joy to watch him play. He went well beyond just playing basketball and shared his love of the game and impact it had on his life with a whole new generation in his books and his movie. He was larger than life.

His wife and family’s kindness in sharing their celebration of his life, and that of his daughter, with his fans is beautiful. It will help all of us heal. We can only hope knowing this, we were there witnessing tributes to a man who was admired, respected, and loved by so many. Hopefully the healing began then.

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Procrastination and Funeral Planning

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 16:50:53 GMT

Another year over and you made it through without getting that funeral plan completed. But there it is, still on your to do list. How many years have you been thinking about getting this done? If you are a procrastinator this is the one you can put off until the very end. Then it will become a job for someone else.

Still, if it is on your list there must be a reason. Perhaps you want to be the one who decides what is done and how much is spent on your last good-bye. Maybe you were the one who had to take care of a parent’s funeral and you do not want to leave yours to your children. You had a reason. What was it?

Why do we put things off? What’s the benefit of procrastination? What’s the harm?

We are naturally conditioned to avoid unpleasant tasks. It is estimated that 10 to 20% of people put off regular dental visits. Why? Not because the results are good, that is for sure. People procrastinate because they are scared. They fear the dentist. And how does that work out? When they finally see the dentist, it is because they are in pain. It is an emergency. Avoiding the regular checkup, procrastinating, does not help. It makes the dental experience more painful and even more expensive. No benefit at all. Putting off funeral planning is a lot like putting off seeing the dentist, nothing good comes from procrastination.

Funeral Planning will not kill you. You will have to acknowledge your mortality, but then you do know you will die one day, don’t you? So, what are you waiting for? Do you think planning will be easier if you wait until you are ill? No, of course it will not be easier if you are sick.

Actually, the longer a person waits to get a plan in place the fewer payment options they will be able to take advantage of and the costs increase. A younger person can plan, and if they choose to, purchase insurance for their plan so when they die the insurance company will cover the funeral cost. Coverage like that does not get cheaper as we age, it is the other way around. Funeral costs, like most costs, have historically increased over time. There is no point waiting. The cost will not go down.

Experience tells us people who complete a plan feel good and are pleasantly surprised at how easy it was. On average it takes about two hours to complete a funeral plan. You will most likely be able to choose to have a planner come to your home if you don’t want to go to the funeral home. Planning your funeral is not difficult. Just call the funeral home and set up a time. Do not wait. 2021 will be over sooner than you think.

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Talking with a Veteran

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 16:48:16 GMT

Talking with a veteran of the more recent wars or conflicts such as Vietnam, Afghanistan, or Iraq can be intimidating. You may have a parent or spouse who served in Vietnam who has never shared anything about their experience with you. The Vietnam War was different from wars in the past in that the value of the war itself was questioned and many of those who served came home to a hostile public. It was not a hero’s welcome. Their story may have been bottled up all these years and time is running out for families to learn about their loved one’s experience.

Since the Vietnam War, a small percentage of the U.S. population has served in our armed forces. This means the Vietnam experience is not shared by the broader population and those who did not serve can’t possibly understand what war is like. Not understanding can make us uncomfortable about starting a conversation. As a result, veterans can feel isolated while we remain unaware.

How can we push past our discomfort? How can we talk with these people we love and appreciate about a period in their life that was so very important to them? It can be tricky depending on how well you know the veteran. Below you will find some tips to aid your conversation with a veteran:

· During the discussion:

· Take your time, go slow

· Plan to LISTEN

· Listen without comment or judgment

· Listen to learn, not to tell.

· Below are some suggestions you can ask:

· Would be willing to talk with me about your experience?

· What service were you in?

· What inspired you to join?

· What does your service mean to you?

· Would you mind sharing what you are currently doing?

· Depending on how well you know the veteran, you may want to avoid so of the topics/questions below:

· Don’t ask if they killed anyone or saw any dead bodies.

· Don’t be surprised if they don’t want to talk.

· Don’t ask about PTSD.

· Don’t make it about you.

· Don’t think you know what it is like to go to war unless you have been to war.

It is always a good idea to do your homework and study the war prior to your discussion. And most of all, express your appreciation for their time and service.

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Driving by a Funeral Home

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 16:35:29 GMT

Imagine you’re driving past a funeral home. As you approach, you can see people dressed in mourning clothing coming out of the facilities and climbing into their cars or limousines. But just before you drive by, those vehicles begin to pull out of the funeral home’s parking lot. You’re now encountering a funeral procession. So, how can you treat this important ceremony with the respect it deserves? Although many states have different rules when it comes to driving around funeral processions, here are the general rules of the road when you spot one.

What to D o When You Encounter a Funeral Procession

1. Yield the right of way.

Generally, funeral processions have the right of way. It’s important to obey this guideline as it may just prevent an accident. In many states, a funeral procession may go through a red light if the lead car has already crossed into the intersection. Because a funeral procession may operate under different rules from other vehicles on the road, it’s essential to exercise caution when driving around one.

Not only is it respectful to yield the right of way to ensure that the procession stays on time and all together, but it’s also better for both their and your safety. Just as you would yield the right of way to an emergency vehicle, you should yield to a funeral procession.

2. Do not cut in.

It’s extremely disrespectful to cut into a funeral procession. In some states, doing so is actually illegal. A funeral procession is a ceremonial event in which people are mourning. You should not do anything that interferes with this ceremony. Also, the drivers will not expect you to cut in, which may mean that they won’t be looking out for your vehicle. A collision may end up being the result. If you need to take an exit on a highway and cutting in is your only option for reaching it, you should wait to take the next exit.

3. Do not pass the procession.

Just like you shouldn’t cut in, you also shouldn’t pass a funeral procession. And just like cutting in, it’s illegal to pass a funeral procession in some states. Speeding up to pass a funeral procession may cause an accident. You may pass if you’re on a highway with two or more lanes going in the same direction. You should only ever pass on the right if the procession is traveling in the far left lane.

4. Look for the last car in the procession.

Most often, the last car in a funeral procession must have its hazards on. It also may be marked with two flags to designate its status. To ensure that you don’t mistakenly cut off a funeral processional, keep an eye out for the final car’s markings.

5. Do not tag along.

When you do spot that final car, do not decide to join the procession. Because a funeral procession can move through traffic with certain restrictions lifted, some drivers, unfortunately, believe that they can simply join the mourners and receive the same treatment. But just as you shouldn’t tail an emergency vehicle to get to your destination faster, you shouldn’t tag along when you see a funeral procession. Not only is it very disrespectful, but it’s also not likely to work. The last car in the procession is marked as the final car. You may be pulled over if you’re spotted trying to tag along. Doing so is considered interfering with the procession, and it’s illegal in some states.

6. Pull over if you’re able.

Most often, the best thing to do when you see a funeral procession is to pull over. It’s safer to allow the procession to pass without any potential obstructions. However, it’s not always possible to pull over. If you are on a road with the space to pull off to the side, you should do so and wait until the procession has fully passed.

7. Wait patiently.

Whether you’re pulled to the side of the road or simply waiting at an intersection for the procession to pass, you should always wait patiently. Do not honk, yell, or make gestures, even if you’re frustrated that the procession is taking a while. Remember that the people in these vehicles are mourning the loss of a loved one. Even if you want to make a gesture of support, it’s best to wait silently and patiently instead.

It can be frustrating to get stuck behind a funeral procession. But it’s important to remember that it’s only a minor inconvenience in comparison to the situation the people in the procession are dealing with. They’re grieving the loss of a loved one. The day of a funeral is often difficult, and the last thing the mourners should have to face on such a day is someone causing an accident because they tried to cut the processional off. You should always be respectful to a funeral procession, both out of kindness to the mourners and for the sake of safety for everyone.

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Funeral Humor – Creating Levity in a Stressful Profession

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 16:31:17 GMT

As a subject, death can often make people uncomfortable. And as a result, that discomfort extends to how people feel about the funeral profession. For many people, the first time that they enter a funeral home is when a loved one passes. Because of this connection, many people associate funeral homes and what’s inside them with morbidity.

So, it can be a bit of a shock to find that funeral directors most often aren’t the caricatures we see in movies and storybooks. They’re not as frightening as one might expect, nor are they creepy, despite the fact that some may find what they do a bit scary. Just like with many professions, working as a funeral director is a multi-faceted role. And, believe it or not, some funeral directors may even try to bring some comedy into their position. Why is it essential to create a little levity as a funeral director? Although not every funeral director attempts to be funny, here are a few reasons why one might.

Why Your Funeral Director May Be Funny

1. Death makes people uncomfortable.

Funeral directors know that, for many people, death is an uncomfortable subject. It’s scary to think about a time when you’re not physically here anymore, and it’s upsetting to remember that there will be a time when your loved ones can’t be with you in person. But funeral directors also know that there’s a way to break through the uncomfortableness of death: humor. It can be disarming to hear a funeral director be funny. And that unexpectedness can give you a little shock to your system. Though you were uncomfortable moments before, your surprised giggles can make you feel more at ease.

Funeral directors are inherently very adaptable people. They strive to provide the form of comfort that you need the most during this stressful time in your life. For some people, being made to laugh is the best way to give them comfort. Although not all funeral directors are naturally funny, they aim to do their best to provide the care that you require.

2. Humor can help you cope with grief.

Laughter does a lot for us, perhaps more than we know. It helps our immune system, combats pain, and boosts our endorphins. And it also helps us when we grieve. Many bereavement groups incorporate humor for this exact reason. One study found that widows and widowers who could laugh and smile about their loved ones experienced less depression and anxiety . Laughter cannot remove the pain of losing a loved one, but it can help us grieve with less severe symptoms.

Grief is complicated. Though we usually experience the strongest symptoms of grief for only a few months after a loss, those feelings often turn into integrated grief. Though integrated grief is easier to live with, it’s also longer-lasting. Grief becomes a part of our lives, which is why it’s essential to continue to find humor. As the study of the widows and widowers shows, finding humor can help both during the initial period of loss and the subsequent years with the overall grieving process. Funeral directors may not be grief counselors, but they strive to help us in any way they can while we mourn the loss of our loved ones. Creating levity through the funeral planning process can be one way to help.

3. Humor can help you cope with stress.

Funeral planning itself can be stressful. Hundreds of decisions must be made. There’s a lot on the planner’s mind about whether or not they’re making the right choices. Would the funeral they planned be the one that their loved one wanted? Those kinds of questions can inch their way into the mind of the planner, causing stress over their decisions. There’s often a feeling of anxiety as a funeral nears. Will everything go right? Although a funeral director and their staff will always do their best to assuage these fears in families who come to them in their time of need, it’s often hard to get their stress to dissipate.

Like grief, humor can do a lot to help stress . Laughing actually activates your stress response. A strong belly laugh increases your blood pressure and heart rate, but only briefly. Once you’ve calmed down again, your heart rate and blood pressure decrease, giving you a calm feeling. Laughing also soothes tension and aids in muscle relaxation, helping to decrease the physical signs of stress. In the long term, laughter improves your ability to cope with difficult situations and overall mood. A funeral director may find ways to incorporate laughter with the goal of relieving some of your funeral planning stress.

4. Funeral directors want to help you continue on with your life.

Funeral directors aren’t afraid of talking about death, but they do know that many people would rather not think about it. And they also know that no one comes to them for funeral planning in a happy mood. When most people plan a funeral, they are doing so with some distress as they’re just beginning to live a life without the person they love. These people are struggling, and the funeral director wants to help them through this new way of life.

A part of helping is telling them that it’s okay to keep living. And a big part of living is finding the humor in life. When you’ve just lost a loved one, you’re likely experiencing acute grief, a period of grieving when your symptoms may prevent you from going about your everyday life. You may find it hard even to smile. It can feel wrong to laugh again when you’ve just lost someone you love. But a funeral director may try to encourage you to laugh again and to let you know it’s okay to find joy in life, even when you’re missing someone you love.

Not all funeral directors are the same. Some funeral directors prefer to remain more serious through the funeral planning process. And that’s okay too. But if you begin working with a funeral director who brings some levity to your situation, you may find that it’s helpful to your stress levels and your grieving process. Funeral directors aren’t the frightening figures of childhood stories, and they certainly don’t want to scare you. Some of them will even try to make you laugh, making a stressful situation a little bit lighter and a little bit easier.

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Is Go Fund Me the Best Way to Pay for a Funeral?

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 16:23:34 GMT

Funerals are a way for people to celebrate the lives of their loved ones, but these celebrations often have a price tag that can be very high for the average family. A funeral with a viewing and a burial can cost upwards of $7,000 . And when you consider that many families are also attempting to pay off additional expenses, like medical costs, after their loved one passes, they can quickly struggle under the weight of their financial burden. It’s no wonder why so many families turn to GoFundMe to ask for help covering all the costs, but is there a better way to pay for a funeral?

Should you use GoFundMe to pay for a funeral?

When GoFundMe launched in 2010, it changed how everything from novel inventions to wedding ceremonies were funded. It’s likely that at some point in your life, someone you know has used GoFundMe, and maybe you’ve donated through it yourself. GoFundMe has also changed the way that we pay for funeral expenses.

In most cases, a decedent's family will pay for the funeral and disposition of their loved one. With GoFundMe, more of the burden is relieved from the immediate family. Suddenly, people you didn’t even know your loved one knew are donating through GoFundMe. Students of a teacher they haven’t seen in years want to donate. Coworkers from companies your loved one hasn’t worked at in decades decide to contribute. Neighbors, friends, and even friends of friends want to help in any way that they can. GoFundMe can be a wonderful resource that just goes to show how many lives your loved one has touched throughout their life. But although GoFundMe has proven to be a valuable resource for many families attempting to pay for funerals on their own, the best way to pay for a funeral is to pay into the costs before they happen.

Is there a better way to pay for a funeral?

Although it can be unpleasant to think about a time when you’ll no longer be around, planning for your funeral is a gift to your loved ones. And that includes planning for the expenses that come with a funeral and disposition. Although many people believe that having life insurance is enough, life insurance often doesn’t end up covering the total cost of a funeral, which can lead to your family paying out of pocket for funeral expenses later on. But there are other ways to pay toward your funeral.

One option is to talk to your chosen funeral home about planning and paying for your funeral in advance. When you preplan your funeral, you can decide to pay for your plans in advance. You’ll work with the funeral home to make your arrangements, including what services you want to hold, whether you’d like to be buried or cremated, and what type of casket or urn you’d like. After you decide on all these details, you’ll be able to pay for them through the funeral home.

Funeral homes typically offer a variety of payment plans, including the option to pay for your funeral and disposition in full. By making these payments in advance, you’re saving your family from financial strain later on. When you pay in full, you’re guaranteeing that the funeral you plan is the one that your family will be able to hold for you. There will be no need for a GoFundMe after you pass because you already funded your funeral yourself.

GoFundMe has undoubtedly changed how we fund funerals, but the best way to pay for a funeral is always by planning ahead. As you plan your funeral, talk to your funeral director about your options for prepaying for your funeral and disposition. By paying for your funeral ahead of time, you’ll save your family from surprise expenses down the road. If you’re covering the cost of your funeral now, your family won’t need GoFundMe later.

If you’re looking to cover the costs of a funeral for a loved one who did not preplan or prepay, your funeral home may be able to help. Some funeral homes offer a crowdfunding service that functions similarly to GoFundMe. Before making a GoFundMe account, talk to your funeral home about what kinds of crowdfunding services they offer.

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Three Reasons to Preplan Your Funeral When Your Family Doesn’t Live Close

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 16:16:54 GMT

Reason Number One:

The need to make that first call, the one to the funeral home, nearly always catches people unaware and off guard.

Even when a death is clearly coming it is almost always unexpected. “Mom was 96 but we just talked to her on Sunday, and she was fine. Hospice told us it was just a matter of days, but we just stepped out to the store for a few minutes, and he was gone. She was doing so well, we were surprised.”

When a person dies the first order of business is calling a funeral home to come and take the body into their care. When family doesn’t live close, they may not be familiar with the funeral homes in the area. Which funeral home should be called?

Even with all of today’s wonderful ways to connect it can take hours to track down immediate family members. This one is in a meeting, that one is picking up kids at soccer practice, someone is at the gym and has their phone on silent. It can take a while to reach everyone and get them to weigh in on the decision about which funeral home to call. In the meantime, someone waits.

Reason Number Two:

The people who you love and who love you are going to be very busy just getting there. It’s not a good time to be making the big decisions. Burial or cremation, church or not, celebration of life, which minister, what restaurant, wood casket or metal, visitation the day of service or the night before?

Your far-flung family will be trying to book flights, pack suitcases, arrange for the dog to be taken care of, get someone to fill in for carpool, and get time off work. Their minds will be racing. It’s not a good time to make decisions that they will live with forever. Funeral decisions carry a lot of weight. Everyone wants to get it just right. No one wants to wish they had buried mom in her red dress instead of her blue dress for the rest of their life. Just think how much better it would be IF they just had to get there and meet with the funeral director you selected to review the plans you left for them.

Reason Number Three:

Your family needs time to be together. They need each other. They need to remember the stories, look at the pictures, cry together, and hug one another.

The plan you leave for your children, grandchildren, sisters and brothers, and friends is a gift. You give them the gift of time to lean in and realize that they have lost you. This is precious time they have together. There will still be much for them to do but when you have lifted the weight a little, you leave room for them to work together and be creative. They can pull their talents and put their own touches on the framework of the funeral plan you provided for them.

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Moving on (Too) Quickly for Others

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 16:11:42 GMT

What does grief look like? You might be thinking now about the five stages : anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But what happens when someone goes out of order, skips a step, or doesn’t go through them at all? Although you may think it’s a sign that something is wrong, the truth is that we all experience grief in different ways. And someone may move through grief faster than someone else.

First things first, forget what you know about grief.

In 1969, in her book On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the Kübler-Ross mode l, which became known as the five stages of grief. And although we typically associate this model with describing how we grieve someone’s death, that’s not actually what it was made for. It’s meant to give structure to how someone comes to terms with being diagnosed with a terminal illness. The five stages of grief were never about grieving a loved one’s death.

However, other studies have tried to apply the model to grieving a loved one, only to find that it doesn’t really work the way that people believe it does. A 1981 study that looked at individuals who had been widowed for various lengths of time found that the pain and stress of widowhood persisted for years, with no subjects falling into particular stages at certain times, as the five stages of grief suggested they would. A 2002 study took a look at people before and after their spouses’ deaths and found that only 11 percent followed the Kübler-Ross model’s trajectory.

So, if the five stages of grief aren’t scientifically accurate, why do we hold onto this idea that there’s a “right” way to grieve? When a daughter loses a father, is she wrong to go back to work the same week? When a husband loses a wife, is he wrong to be on a dating app by the end of the year? Perhaps yes and perhaps no. But these feelings are personal. And although you may imagine that you’d grieve in a certain way if you lost someone close to you, you cannot know what their grief is like.

What should you do if someone you love is moving on “too” quickly?

One thing that should be considered before you try to intervene when you think someone is moving on very quickly is whether or not they are really moving on at all. In the case of a daughter going back to work, she might not be trying to move on. She might simply be looking for a distraction because being at home is too painful. In which case, be kind and don’t remind her of her loss. Be a friend, let her talk to you about her loss if she wants to, and otherwise be someone she can turn to when she needs to take her mind off grief or funeral planning. Although she may look like she’s moving on quickly on the outside, she might still be grieving, just in a different way from your personal grieving process.

But what about a husband who is looking to remarry soon after losing his spouse? Men are significantly more likely to begin dating after being widowed, and they’re more likely to do it sooner as well. After 25 months following the loss of a spouse, 61 percent of men are in a new relationship, compared to just 19 percent of women. So, do most men then move on too quickly? Regardless of gender, people who remarry after their spouse’s death report lower levels of depression and greater life satisfaction and well-being than those who don’t. But because men are more likely to have fewer friends than women, husbands often rely on their wives as their primary source of emotional and social support. When a wife dies, a husband may suddenly feel cut off from those crucial outlets, which propels him into the dating world sooner than a woman who lost her husband.

Should you intervene if someone you love is looking for love after losing their spouse? If you’re very close, you may consider voicing your concerns, but keep in mind what they gain in their life by remarrying. The thing about moving on is that it’s taking steps to keep living. It doesn’t mean that there’s no grief remaining. A person who loses a spouse needs to learn to live without them, but they still will miss their presence. And if that person remarries, it doesn’t mean that they’re replacing their spouses, nor are they trying to forget their spouse and all the memories they made together. They’re just searching for more fulfillment in their lives, and for many people, that includes learning to love again.

Ultimately, only one person can decide if they’re ready to move on, and that’s the person who lost their loved one. If you think you’re ready to move on in terms of dating again, it’s important to ask yourself if you feel prepared for this new change. Can you let someone else into your life? Can you love your new partner the way they deserve to be loved? If you know wholeheartedly that you can, you’re ready. But no one else can answer those questions but you. And if you’re seeing someone you love move on in a way that you don’t think you could or would, remember that you’re not the one who experienced their grief. Only they know what their grief is like and whether they’re ready to move on. All you can do is be there for them as they try to make this new transition in their life.

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Do I Need a “Final Resting Place”?

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 15:52:35 GMT

Let’s face it everyone will have one, a final resting place that is. The questions you should be asking are where is it? Can it be found in the future should a family member want to do so? Is the final resting place protected? Is it hallowed ground? Will the place endure?

Most of us know exactly where our great grandparents are “resting.” It’s in a cemetery somewhere. Even when the grave is half a continent away and we never get there to put flowers on the grave, we know where they are. Will our grandchildren know where we rest?

For those who would like to be buried in a cemetery

· Fear not. There are spaces available check with your funeral director for advice about where to look.

· Worried about the environment? Again, ask your funeral director about green and greenish burial options.

· Concerned about cost? Consider the resale market. Many family’s plans change. Families resell cemetery plots they will not use at a lower cost.

For those who plan to donate their body to science

· Know that in most cases the cremated remains will be returned to the family at some point and will require a plan for the final resting place.

· Always have a back-up plan just in case the body is not accepted for donation.

· Talk to your funeral director about how to put together a memorial service to take place right after death since it may be months or even years before ashes are returned to the family.

For those who will be cremated

· Consider your many options carefully. You may want to discuss them with your funeral director. There may be final resting options you are not aware of.

· If you plan to scatter ashes, give thought to the location and how family members will be impacted if the golf course is sold and turned into a go-kart track? Keep in mind that if you belong to a faith such as Catholicism, the Church does not permit scattering and would instead advocate for a permanent final resting place.

· Talk to your funeral director about keepsakes such as paperweights that incorporate some of the ashes or jewelry that can hold a small amount of cremated remains. Again, if you belong to the Catholic faith, this is not permitted.

· Be aware that final resting place means it must endure for generations to come. Will your children’s children still want your urn in their home?

· Know having a viable plan for the final resting place is the most often overlooked step for those who cremate. Not addressing this issue creates a burden for someone in the family as time passes. Talk to your funeral director.

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Five Themed Funeral Ideas to Personalize a Funeral

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Tue, 17 Sep 2024 17:37:00 GMT

Pictures

A picture is worth a thousand words. Pictures bring memories to life; they stimulate conversation and can illustrate an entire lifespan.

There are different ways to use pictures in a funeral service. Many funeral homes have resources onsite or know just where a family can find what they need. Photos can be enlarged or displayed on a board or placed in albums on a table. Photos may also be incorporated into a slide show or shown in a loop on a video monitor or flat screen.

The exercise of going through family photos and choosing which to use for the funeral is cathartic in and of itself. As the family members sort through their photos and discuss which to use, stories are bound to be shared. This activity is healing. It helps the mourners move from thinking and talking about the cause of death to thinking and talking about the life that was lived.

As the pictures are selected and decisions are being made about how to share them, think about how time will come into play. How long will people be comfortable standing in front of a flat screen? Ask your funeral director for guidance. Consider sharing photos in more than one format, or having more than one video set up, or showing more than one video at different times in the service. Ask for what you want and need.

Music

The span of a lifetime can be reflected in the music a person listened to and loved. From Frank Sinatra to Pavarotti, boy band to the church choir, music is the background of our lives. Including music in a funeral service can bring life to the service. Do not be afraid to step out of the box. If the one you loved really liked to rock it out at top volume go ahead and ask to play one of their favorites loud, as visitors leave the funeral home. Talk to your funeral director about how you can include the music that reflects your loved one.

Stories

A good speaker, who knew well the person who died, can bring both tears and laughter to a funeral service. However, not everyone is a good speaker. Choose wisely and do not be afraid to ask what is going to be said. Surprises can be upsetting to some and funerals always leave a lasting impression. Do not be shy. Ask the speaker what is being planned. This extends to the religious officiant as well, especially if the clergyperson is not well known to the family.

Your funeral director has a lot of valuable experience. Be sure to tap into that experience. Ask her how many speakers to have and how long a service should last. Be sure to watch for overlap in stories. One person talking about the time the football tickets were left at home for the big game is probably enough. Nobody wants to be second up with the same story prepared and rehearsed.

Public speaking is in the top five fears of nearly everyone. If your circle does not include a good storyteller, ask the funeral director if there is a Funeral Celebrant in your community who could help with this part of the service.

Passions

The things a person loved help tell their life story. It could be a team they watched or a sport they played. Some people are passionate about their work, others are inspired throughout their life by a hobby or pursuing a talent. Regardless, passions help to define a life. It is no wonder mourners wish to honor their loved one’s passion when life comes to an end.

There are different ways this can be accomplished. There are caskets that honor a team or school. Favors that reflect a love of gardening, cooking, golf or almost anything, can be given to attendees. “Secret” recipes can be shared. Once again, your funeral director will be an excellent resource to help you incorporate the passion all the visitors will recognize into the service.

Faith

When family members all share a common faith with the person who died, this part of the funeral service usually comes together easily. However, it sometimes happens that more than one religious affiliation is practiced within the family. In this case, the religious portion of the service is usually a reflection of the faith of the deceased.

When the deceased was not religious but close family members have a strong religious affiliation, who performs the service and how the religious service is handled may become tricky. It is always helpful to remember that funeral services leave a lasting impression. For this reason, it is important to try and please all close family members. Your funeral director can help sort this out.

In summary:

A funeral may include some or all of the elements mentioned above. It should reflect the life of the person who died and bring comfort to close family members. Funeral directors are eager to have the service meet the family’s desires. Still, funeral directors are not mind readers.

In order to meet the expectations of the family, members must listen to each other and communicate openly with the director. If there is something important to one or more family members, what it is and that it is important must be shared with the funeral director. Seek the professional advice of your funeral director and be clear and firm regarding any elements that will be crucial to the success of any family member’s grieving process.

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Thinking No Funeral? Think again.

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Tue, 17 Sep 2024 17:33:14 GMT

Maybe you’ve said it, or thought it? “I don’t need a funeral. You can just bury me in the backyard”. That’s the male version of negating the need for a funeral. But the sentiment is not unique to men. Women just say it differently. “I don’t want you to make a fuss. I don’t need a funeral.” These folks are right. The person who died doesn’t need a funeral. They just need a legal, respectful disposal of their body. It’s the people who are left to do the work of grieving that need the support and community from a funeral.

Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, Aretha Franklin, John McCain, and most recently Kobe Bryant, didn’t need the memorials, teddy bears, or flowers. We needed them. We need to be a part of acknowledging the loss. We find comfort in being able to be a part of the service that honors their lives even when our part is just being an observer via television. We are comforted, in some measure, just by being able to observe.

It is human nature to seek community in times of trouble and in times of joy. People are pack animals. We don’t live in isolation. We touch the lives of others. We celebrate birth with family and friends. We celebrate the coming together of two people in marriage as a group. We hold each other’s hand in times of tragedy. When we express our caring feelings, it is not weakness. It’s our strength. We are human beings, we care.

Having the opportunity to express our feelings is not expected to “cure” our grief. Coming together does not provide closure. The door never really closes on the love one human being has for another. Coming together, expressing our feelings in the presence of our community, are steps in the healing process. Being able to express our feelings in a safe, accepting environment provides some measure of healing.

Grief in the early days is raw. As time passes it softens. The hard edges become rounded and we begin to find the joy we had with the one we loved in our memories. Grief is hard work. It’s a journey.

Why should anyone have to begin this journey alone?

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Jewish Funeral Traditions

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Tue, 17 Sep 2024 17:31:28 GMT

As we begin to learn more about religious practices outside of our own, it is sometimes surprising to find how much different faiths have in common. Mourners of all faiths understand the power of grief and the comfort of community. So, what happens when a person of the Jewish faith dies, and how can a person outside that faith support a friend or neighbor who is grieving?

In order to support a person of the Jewish faith when they have experienced a loss, one must learn about the Kaddish and sitting Shiva. According to Jewish Law anyone who has lost a parent, sibling, child, or spouse recites Kaddish every day beginning with the funeral and continuing for thirty days after the death. The Mourners Kaddish is a prayer, a profession of faith. The prayer is a listing of God’s holy attributes. Jewish law requires that sanctification of God’s name and requires ten voices … a minyan. This requirement of a minyan assures that the mourner is not alone. For thirty days the Mourners Kaddish is recited in the presence of at least ten people. According to Anita Diamant in her book Saying Kaddish… “The power of Kaddish comes, in large measure, from the consolations of being in a group that recognizes and embraces the bereaved”.

The Hebrew word for funeral is Levayah, which means “accompanying”. There is no religious requirement for clergy to be present at a Jewish funeral. The responsibility is on the family. The service does not address the ideas of heaven, redemption or reunion, the focus is on the life of the deceased. The service is simple. Here are no flowers or music, the casket is lowered and all in attendance participate in covering the coffin. Once the casket is lowered the business of caring for the dead is ended. The focus now shifts to mourning and supporting the family in their grief.

Shiva or “sitting Shiva” is a time for the bereaved. Traditionally Shiva lasts for seven days, although in modern times that is sometimes abbreviated to three days. It is a time to “sit” with grief. During Shiva the bereaved do not work or play. No calling into the office, no cooking, no dishes, no television or video games. Shiva is a time to do grief work. It is a time to explore emotions and feelings, to cry and to laugh. It is a time to share memories, tell stories, and receive consolation.

When a Jewish person dies:

· Expect the service to take place the day after the death.

· The service will be held either at a funeral home or a synagogue/temple

· There will never be an open casket

· The service will be led by a rabbi

· The rabbi may deliver the eulogy or eulogies may be delivered by friends or family

· Close friends and family will attend the interment. All who attend the interment will participate in filling the grave.

· As the closest members of the family leave the gravesite, they pass between two rows of relatives and friends.

· Do telephone or visit the bereaved

· Do bring food, to be on the safe side, bring kosher food

· Do not send flowers

· Do make a contribution to a favorite charity in honor of the deceased

· When calling on family members who are sitting Shiva expect to stay for 20 to 30 minutes. The Mourners Kaddish will be recited twice a day, morning and evening. A guest should stand when the mourners stand and read along with the prayer in English

· The one-year anniversary of the death is marked with a ceremony, yahrzeit. This ceremony is by invitation only and usually involves a service at the synagogue and “unveiling” of the tombstone at the cemetery.

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Veterans Day - Thank You for Your Service

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Tue, 17 Sep 2024 17:29:15 GMT

Because you are there we all sleep better at night. You serve in the Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines, and Coast Guard. Some of you serve for two years, some for twenty or more. Some enter into service at a tender age looking for opportunity. Some are following a longstanding family tradition. You are mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters. We, thank you for your service.

You spend days, weeks, and even years away from your family. You are not always there to teach your daughter to ride her bike; perhaps you missed your son’s first steps. Because you serve, you can’t always be counted on to attend the baseball game or the teacher conference. With your service comes sacrifice. Sacrifices made by both you and your family. We thank you and your family for your service.

Thank you for being ready and on alert so that we can go about our business without even thinking about the “what ifs”. Thank you for putting yourself in harms way. Thank you for giving us your time, your energy and your youth. Thank you for representing us with honor where ever you are stationed.

Regardless of whether you serve us at home or in foreign lands, in time of war or peace, we thank you for your service.

On Memorial Day we remember those who gave their lives in our service, on Armed Forces Day we honor those currently serving. On Veterans Day we honor all who have served our country from the Revolution in 1776 to today. Thank you.

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Five “To Dos” When You Hit 70

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Tue, 17 Sep 2024 17:27:28 GMT

Life from age 70 to 75 is interesting. It might not be a mid-life crisis but nearly everyone finds it is a period of real-life adjustments. In moving from being a 69-year-old to 70-year-old it’s easy to say, so what? Going in, 70 might feel like the new 50. Especially if a person is healthy and active. But by 75 it usually dawns on people that 80 is not going to be the new 60! It’s time to get real and embrace and prepare for life moving forward.

There are both some big questions to ponder and some little things to do to make life going forward easier. In the big category, a couple might consider where they are living. A simple thing like not having a first-floor bedroom or bath can mean a stay in a rehabilitation facility if a hip or knee needs to be replaced. By the time one hits the 75 mark they know more than a few folks who are walking around with replacement parts.

Then there is the question of whether your home is even in the “right” location? Some people choose to leave friends and their current life in favor of moving closer to their children or family. There is no one “right” choice—however, considering the what ifs can help a person be sure they are settled in their own personal happy place.

Much easier, but not less important, is making sure that you have designated someone to make medical decisions on your behalf if you are no longer able to do so yourself. Most folks will choose their spouse. However, it is a good idea to be sure the individual one chooses understands your desires and has the emotional strength to carry out your wishes. In some cases, it may be kinder to designate an adult child to make decisions. Regardless of who you choose, making sure all family members know what you want to have happen and who you have designated to carry out your wishes, can save a lot of family heartache in the future.

Even easier, but still important, is taking a few steps in order to eliminate those little stressors that can ruin an entire day. Making a simple adjustment to your utilities, cable, or telephone can be a real challenge if you are not the person “of record” on the account. If the designated person has died it can get even more complicated.

Check to be sure both spouses have the authority to make changes to the account or service. Be sure the secret passwords and answers to security questions are known to both parties. Watch your “ands” and “ors”. “And” can mean you both have to be involved where “or” means either party can take action. “And” can mean you’ll need a death certificate where “or” can mean full speed ahead.

Finally, it really is time to consider the end. When your children, grandchildren, and friends come together to remember you, what will that gathering look and feel like? Who will be in charge? Who will be responsible for making and paying for the arrangements? This one is the easiest of them all—you simply call your funeral home and ask for a prearrangement appointment. It will take just a few hours to get all your questions answered and have a plan on file at the funeral home. Then you just go right along heading to 80, eating right, exercising, and seeing the world, because maybe 80 is the new 60?

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Planning for Cremation

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Tue, 17 Sep 2024 17:24:34 GMT

1. Choose a cremation provider.

2. Decide on a “closing” ceremony.

3. Choose a final resting place.

Start with the end. Where will your cremated remains “rest?” On average, a cremated human body will be reduced to about five pounds of coarse “ash”. There are three general choices for resting places and a variety of options within each choice.

· Ashes can be kept by a family member.

· Buried or permanently kept in a columbarium niche.

· Scattered.

Very few people really “don’t have anybody”. Friends are the family we choose, and then there is the family. Most of us are deeply connected to at least one other human being. These are the people who will need some time to process their loss of you.

· A funeral service (with or without a religious service) can be held before the cremation takes place.

· A memorial service occurs after the cremation takes place. It may or may not include a religious service.

· Either a funeral or a memorial service can be formal, informal, or very informal. Either can be held pretty much anywhere.

Funeral homes either provide cremation at the funeral home or coordinate transportation from the place of death to the cremation facility. They can also help you choose a final resting option and coordinate the closing ceremony. Most funeral homes have a person on staff who will answer all your questions and help determine which options work best for you and the people who are important to you. Amazingly enough, this is a free service. A cremation society or direct cremation provider will take care of the cremation.

You can:

· Take advantage of your local funeral home’s planning service (no charge).

· Sign up for a cremation society and leave everything else to those who love you.

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How Often Do I Need to Change the Furnace Filter?

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Tue, 17 Sep 2024 17:22:12 GMT

When there is a breakup, illness, or death and the person in the household who took care of the household necessities is no longer available, it isn’t long before you know you need help. Finding someone to do these little jobs can be difficult. It’s a good idea to be prepared to learn how to do some things yourself.

Most furnace filters will need to be changed every three months / four times a year. If you can see dust and dirt or can’t see the fabric pattern of the filter, it needs to be replaced. Keeping up with filter replacement is good for your furnace. It is also good for your health. Changing a filter is a pretty easy task to complete once you know where it goes and how it is inserted into your air handler. Buy a year’s supply of filters, mark your calendar to remind you when it’s time for a change and get someone to show you how it’s done. You want to be as independent as you can be, so take notes if you need to. Tape them to the furnace so you’ll be all set for the next filter change.

Often the “filter changer” was also in charge of auto maintenance so you may also need to know more about care of the car. For example, how often to you need to change the oil in the car? What about getting the car waxed? Some people like to use the dealership where the car was purchased for maintenance. Others are sure they can get it done at an independent garage for less money. Just be sure you are not being penny wise and pound foolish. You might start with the service provider your previous auto maintenance person used. If you have no idea, ask someone you trust.

Typically, oil changes take place based on miles driven and type of oil used. Some cars use synthetic oil which comes at a higher cost but requires changing far less frequently. Find your car’s owner’s manual (it’s usually in the glove box of the car) and read. In the upper left corner of the windshield you might find a sticker that tells you the date of the last change and the mileage when you will need your next change. If you drive very little and don’t hit your mileage, it is still best to keep the oil in your car fresh. Change the oil at least twice a year.

Now, about keeping up with the appearance of your car. It is also good for resale and the look of your car to keep it clean and waxed. Spend the dollars for a hand wax at least twice a year.

If you are lucky, you’ll have a son or son-in-law or maybe even a helpful neighbor who will offer to help with your “manly” chores, but here’s an important tip: Plan your help and coordinate the chores. Ask for help getting the gutters cleaned, furnace filters changed, and light bulbs in the fan all taken care of during the same visit. You don’t want to be that person who is always calling for help. Also, don’t forget to reward your handy person. A gift card for your handyman and his wife to go out to dinner will keep everyone smiling.

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Routine is a Life Saver

info@ballarddurand.com (Ballard-Durand Admin) — Fri, 13 Sep 2024 16:01:38 GMT

In times of stress routine is a life saver.

In times of stress, loss, and change, the most important coping skill is taking control of your time. You must establish a routine. Picture a fish out of water. That’s how a person feels in the midst of grief, loss, or any major life change. Without a plan they flip, flop, and ultimately flounder.

Regular sleep patterns are the foundation of routine. Establishing regular sleep wake cycle is easier said than done since we tend to be more restless sleepers when we are stressed. So, here are a few tips.

1. Turn off electronics one hour before bedtime. Experts tell us the blue light from electronics is a sleep disrupter.

2. Avoid alcohol and caffeine before bedtime.

3. A recommended bedtime snack would be a bowl of oats with milk and banana.

Even if you are waking in the night and having a problem getting back to sleep, still get out of bed at your predetermined time in the morning. If you need a nap during the day make it a 20-minute power nap.

Eat your meals at regular times. Regular sleep and eating times help the body establish its circadian rhythm. Take control. Plan your dinner for the evening in the morning and your breakfast for the next day in the evening before you go to bed.

Plan some physical exercise into your day. Going to the gym may be too daunting but anyone can take a walk, or take the stairs, or park the car in the third row instead of the first row at the supermarket. Just make moving a priority.

Make a list of three things you’ll do tomorrow before you go to bed and then do them. Checking off your list helps provide the feeling of accomplishment. Make your bed first thing when you wake-up. Start the day the way the Marines do with a job well done. Establish a regular day for changing the bed, doing laundry, and performing your cleaning chores.

Connect with people. Start or join a book club. Have lunch once a week or month with the guys or girls. Become active in your church or volunteer to tutor children.

Repetition is what establishes regular habits. You’ll be tempted to abandon your new routine but stick with it. If you fail at first start over and try again.

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What to Expect When Your Catholic Friend Dies

Sun, 01 Sep 2024 15:47:56 GMT

Roman Catholic refers to a religious body that acknowledges the pope as its authority and the Vatican as the center of ecclesiastical unity. The Catholic Church’s position on death is as follows … From the General Introduction of the Order of Christian Funerals: “The Church intercedes on behalf of the deceased because of its confident belief that death is not the end… The Church also ministers to the sorrowing and consoles them in the funeral rites with the comforting word of God and sacrament of the eucharist.”

Funeral services for a Catholic, in their entirety, will have three parts. Today it is not uncommon for one or more parts to be omitted or abbreviated. Still, the Church recommends the funeral contain all three parts since each has a special function or purpose. The parts include:

1. The Vigil or Wake: This is an opportunity for family, community, and friends to gather, pray, and offer condolences to the family of the deceased. It is a time to remember the life of the deceased. The vigil…

· Usually takes place at the funeral home the evening before the service or morning before the service at the church.

· The body is usually present. The casket may or may not be open. Mourners will approach the casket and say a silent prayer.

· Eulogies, pictures, secular music, and food may be a part of this service. What is included varies depending on the ethnicity of the family and their traditions. This is a time for focusing on the life of the deceased. Having the Vigil in the funeral

home almost always allows for a greater flexibility when it comes to eulogies,

pictures, secular music and food as many churches do not have the same

capabilities as funeral homes, and many will have policies limiting activities,

especially if the vigil were to take place in their worship space.

· A priest or deacon may lead those gathered in a brief prayer service.

2. The Funeral Liturgy: This is the liturgical celebration of the community for the deceased. A Mass is encouraged. The funeral liturgy is an act of worship.

· The priest, followed by the casket and then the family, will process into the church.

· Attendees who are not Catholic may stand, sit, and kneel along with Catholics during the service/Mass. Guests who are not comfortable with kneeling may sit during the entire service.

· No special head covering is required for women or men.

· Prayers will be read, and communion will be distributed.

· Only Catholic attendees may receive communion. This is out of respect for what

Catholics believe communion is and out of respect for the fact that non-Catholics

do not share the same belief.

· Eulogies and secular music will not be a part of this service.

3. The Interment: Funeral guests are invited to attend the interment.

· Prayers will be led by the priest or deacon.

· Military rites may be included if applicable.

· The grave will be closed after participants leave the cemetery.

· A wake or luncheon may follow the interment and can be held at the funeral home, the church hall, or a restaurant.

When a Catholic dies it is appropriate to:

· Telephone or stop by to offer condolences.

· Send flowers to the funeral home or to the home of close family members.

· To bring food to the family.

· To make a contribution to charities in honor of the deceased.

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After the Funeral…What to Look Forward to

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Fri, 16 Aug 2024 14:55:08 GMT

Sometimes the future feels bleak. For those struggling with a recent death in their family or just beaten down by the news, it can be difficult to look forward, to anticipate, to feel hopeful.

Most of us are removed from the rituals of spring. The tilling of the earth, getting our hands in the compost, planting seeds, all simple pursuits that are, by their nature, full of hope. Even if you are living in a community that takes care of your landscape, or a group living arrangement or even in a big city high rise it is really not that hard to grow something. Something that you can nurture, and watch grow - a little something to look forward to.

Grow Something to Eat!

· A basil plant from the grocery store just needs a sunny window and water. A little bit of your own home-grown basil in your tomato soup, or your scrambled eggs, or a salad will make you smile.

· Have a little more room? Go for a tomato plant. It’ll need a little more attention and space. You’ll need to rotate the pot, water, and support the branches but nothing tastes like a vine ripened home-grown tomato. As you watch it go from bloom to fruit the anticipation will build.

Grow Something to Attract the B’s … Birds, Bees, & Butterflies

· Milk weed, bee balm, cone flowers… The list is long. You are sure to find something that works in your spot be it little or large. Use plants or seeds that are not treated with pest controls and if you have the space go for a little variety that will extend your blooming season. The B’s need you and nothing lifts the spirits like being needed! They are also entertaining/fun to watch and something to look forward to. Try it, you’ll see.

Feed the Hummingbirds

· Hummingbirds are amazing! Once they know you have a feeder, they will show up every morning and evening. You’ll have fun watching them “protect” their feeder. It’s like snoopy and the red baron the way they zoom and dive on each other. Much better than the 24-hour news channel. All you need is a simple feeder. Some feeders attach to the outside of your window with suction cups. The food is simple to make. Just one-part sugar to four parts of water, warm it up in the microwave or stove top just to dissolve the sugar. Then cool and store in the fridge. You’ll be surprised how much they eat! Best part is once they get used to seeing you at the window, they’ll make your day.

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Do You Have to Be a Funeral Director to Work at a Funeral Home?

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Sun, 04 Aug 2024 17:23:32 GMT

When we talk about working with a funeral home to plan a loved one’s funeral, one person who plays a central role in creating an event that celebrates that loved one’s life is the funeral director. A funeral director is essentially your go-to person at the funeral home, there to provide care and support during an incredibly challenging time. They oversee and direct all funeral services, from viewings and visitations to burials and cremations. But there’s even a lot of work that funeral directors do behind the scenes that families don’t see, such as organizing transportation for your loved one to and from the funeral home, coordinating receptions, and ensuring that all necessary paperwork is filed properly and in a timely manner.

There’s no doubt that a funeral director plays an essential role in every funeral, but luckily, they don’t have to do it alone. Especially in larger funeral homes, there can be plenty of people to assist the funeral director and care for families during this emotional time.

Who works at a funeral home?

One essential part of a funeral home is an embalmer. In the United States, 50 percent of people are embalmed. Embalming is often necessary for funerals and viewings so that the loved one will look more like how families and friends remember them. Although many funeral directors are also embalmers, it’s very common for larger funeral homes to have several embalmers on staff. Not only do embalmers have to have a special license, but they also must have a degree in mortuary science and have undergone an apprenticeship under an experienced embalmer.

An embalmer may also work as a mortuary cosmetologist, also known as a desairologist. In this position, they work on the hair and makeup of a decedent, an essential part of preparing a loved one for their viewing or open-casket funeral. However, not all embalmers are desairologists, and it’s not uncommon for larger funeral homes to work with additional mortuary cosmetologists.

Although funeral directors oversee all ceremonies, those events couldn’t happen without the work of funeral attendants. Attendants work under funeral directors to ensure that everything runs smoothly so families needn’t worry and can simply grieve in peace. They assist in setting up funeral rooms, transporting caskets, and doing anything a funeral director may need of them.

Not every funeral home has the same type of staff, but advanced planning advisors are often a crucial part of the team. When you pre-plan your funeral, you’re reducing the stress of your family having to wonder if they’re giving you the funeral you truly want. Without pre-planning, an already difficult time becomes even more challenging. Advanced planning advisors work with people who want to save their families from that distress. When you work with an advanced planning advisor, you’re giving your family a blueprint of what you want your funeral to look like. When the time comes, the advanced planning advisor will work with the funeral director and other staff members to put that plan into action.

Just like a funeral home may have someone on staff to help before a funeral even needs to happen, it may also have someone who works with families after the funeral ends. Because funeral homes are such an essential part of a community, many funeral home staff members consider being an active member of their community to be part of their job description. But for some people, their job is solely about caring for the community. Some funeral homes provide aftercare, which means that staff members help families during their time of grief. Since that mourning period doesn’t end with the funeral, neither does the care these funeral homes give. These workers may be grief counselors, or they may go by a different title, but in their role, they make sure that families don’t have to go through mourning alone.

But many other people play essential roles in creating funerals that celebrate an individual’s life. Administrators and administrative assistants keep a funeral director on track, ensuring they have everything they need to take care of any families who come to their funeral home. They work to create a friendly but professional atmosphere, giving comfort to the families and their guests.

Although the funeral director may be the face that you associate with a funeral home, they’re surrounded by people who care about their community and want to be part of making a funeral a cherished event that celebrates the life of someone who meant so much to so many people. Working in a funeral home takes a kind demeanor and temperament. From administrative assistants to embalmers, funeral home staff members are unique individuals who will care for people during one of the most challenging times in their life. After years of training, these community-minded individuals love the opportunity to be of service to people in need.

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Cremation After the Funeral Service

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Sun, 21 Jul 2024 18:55:30 GMT

Cremation rates have been on the rise in the United States for many years, and it’s becoming more and more common for funeral homes to be holding funerals for loved ones who will be cremated. But how does funeral planning work when your loved one will be cremated?

Can my loved one be cremated after a funeral service?

A common misconception exists that says that you can’t have a funeral service if your loved one is going to be cremated. However, this belief is false. Cremation does not preclude a funeral service. Your plans for your loved one’s service do not have to change due to cremation. You can still have a traditional funeral, if you so choose, where your loved one is present prior to their cremation.

When making plans for your loved one’s funeral, talk to your funeral director about wanting the funeral before their cremation takes place. You may have either an open or closed casket funeral, and you may not even need to purchase a casket. Many funeral homes offer families the ability to rent a casket for the length of the funeral because your loved one will not then be buried in the casket. You may also hold additional services before the cremation, such as a viewing or visitation.

Similar to how a burial may happen directly after the funeral, your funeral director can work with a crematory to ensure that cremation occurs right after the funeral service. The funeral home may have their own crematory on-site, making this planning process simpler, or they may work with a respected third-party cremation provider. In the case of working with a different provider, the funeral director will also organize transportation for your loved one to their cremation.

Even if you held a funeral before your loved one’s cremation, you might still want additional services. You may opt for a committal service, which is when your loved one’s cremated remains are either buried or interred in a columbarium. Or you may want a scattering ceremony, where your loved one’s ashes are spread in a location that meant a great deal to them in life. These services are often smaller than a funeral. They allow for close family and friends to say a last goodbye to a loved one as they’re placed in their final resting place.

What if my loved one is cremated before the funeral service?

Some people opt for direct cremation before a funeral service, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have a service at all. Although you can’t have a funeral with a casket present or a viewing, you can still have a memorial service after the cremation.

Because a funeral with a decedent present usually has to happen within a certain amount of time, having a memorial service after cremation affords families more time to plan. Memorial services can happen on the same day as a cremation, but they don’t have to be. Some people prefer to take more time to plan the service, and it’s not uncommon for a memorial service to happen weeks or even months after cremation.

A memorial service can function similarly to a funeral service. You can still have all the aspects of a funeral you may want, such as a eulogy, but the only difference will be that your loved one may be present in an urn, as opposed to being there in a casket. Your family can then choose how they’d like to store or scatter the cremated remains.

Whether you’d like a funeral before cremation or a memorial service after cremation, a funeral home can help. Talk to your funeral director about what you picture for your loved one’s services, and they’ll be able to guide you toward a decision that’s right for you and your family. In either case, you’ll be planning a ceremony that honors the life of your loved one, regardless of what their final disposition may be.

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What is an Ossuary?

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Sun, 07 Jul 2024 12:15:36 GMT

Ossuaries are making a comeback as an alternative final resting place for cremated remains.

In ancient times as far back as c. 40 B.C.E. Ossuaries were popular among the Jewish population. An ossuary is a chest, box, building, well, cave or site made to serve as the final resting place of human skeletal remains. Historically ossuaries have been used in areas where burial space was scarce or in situations where large numbers of people died in a short time such as a plague or battle. The deceased would first be buried in a temporary gravesite and then after some years the skeletal remains would be removed and placed in an ossuary. An ossuary is a communal space where the bones of many people are entombed together often arranged in elaborate patterns. They were always sites of reverence and respect.

There are many historic ossuaries around the world that can be visited today. One of the most recent to be constructed is the Phnom Penh Memorial Stupa in Cambodia. Between 1975 and 1979 the Khmer Rouge killed 1.7 million people. Many of those people were buried in unceremonious mass graves. The Phnom Penh memorial stupa holds the remains of an estimated 10,000 people who were removed from the mass graves and moved to the memorial to provide a dignified final resting place.

Today’s ossuaries are very different in that they do not require exhumation and reburial of bones. Ossuaries today consist of an above ground tomb/marker and an underground vault. Cremated remains, usually contained in a soft material bag inscribed with the name, birth date, and death date of the deceased are dropped into the vault where they rest in community with others. These ossuaries are similar to the ancient in that more than one individual is entombed. They are communal and they hold bone albeit bone fragments produced as the result of the cremation process.

Ossuaries are found in a growing number of cemeteries. They provide a dignified final resting place for those who prefer to be cremated but are not comfortable with the impermanence of scattering. The ossuary space has a low environmental impact, costs less than burial, and gives the family the added benefit of knowing the one they loved rests in a place that will remain intact. Ossuaries provide a dignified final resting place for those who prefer cremation.

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What is a Columbarium Niche?

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Mon, 24 Jun 2024 20:08:03 GMT

A columbarium niche is a final resting place for ashes after cremation. Niches are above ground and are most often built into a wall. The wall is made up of individual compartments that hold an urn containing the ashes of one individual. Columbarium niches are available at many cemeteries and some churches. The niches or compartments may be glass-enclosed, allowing the urn or container to be seen. An alternative design uses sealed stone cubicles very similar to a mausoleum. Sometimes the wall contains open niches. The columbarium wall may be contained in a building or may be free-standing outdoors.

The size of the Niche is usually a standard 9x9x9. This means the choice of urn is limited to something that will fit in the niche. Depending on the design of the columbarium, the choice of urn may be further restricted. There are some columbarium that are stunningly beautiful with glass niches backlit to enhance the display of ceramic urns.

Although cremated remains, or ashes, may be scattered in a location that was special to the deceased, there are laws. Each state regulates where ashes may be scattered. Sometimes scattering is not practical. Often scattering does not satisfy the need of family members to have a fixed location where they can go to remember. A columbarium niche provides a permanent resting place for cremated remains. The cost varies with location but generally speaking it is less than that of burial.

The choice to be cremated does not in any way dictate the type of funeral service that may be held. A full funeral service including visitation with the body present can be held prior to the body being cremated. The service may be faith based or a celebration of life or it may include both. The choice to cremate does require that an individual seriously consider the needs of their family when choosing among the many options regarding a final resting place for the cremated remains.

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Funeral Word Quiz

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Sat, 08 Jun 2024 18:32:48 GMT

Find out how much you know about funeral service. Match the definition to the words below. See how well you do.

Definitions

1. A chemical process that uses a solution of 95% water and 5% potassium hydroxide or sodium hydroxide to reduce a body to components of liquid and bone. Bone fragments are retained so they can be dried and turned into a substance similar to cremated ashes.

2. A service, held without the body present, that commemorates the life of the deceased.

3. A speech usually delivered by a family member or close personal friend at funerals or memorials used to honor and pay respect to the deceased.

4. A permanent outside burial container which is sealed and affords protection to the casket.

5. A notice of a person’s death published in a newspaper; usually contains biographical details and information about funeral or memorial services.

6. The ceremony conducted immediately before the disposition of the dead human body, this service may or may not be faith based.

7. A trained and licensed individual who provides support to the bereaved during initial stages of their grief; arranges and directs funeral ceremonies; arranges for the removal of the deceased from the place of death; prepares the body according to the wishes of the survivors and requirements of the law; secures information for legal documents; files death certificates and other legal papers; assists survivors with filing claims for death benefits.

8. A memorial structure where inurned cremated remains are entombed.

9. A permanent outside burial container, generally consisting of a concrete box and a lid. It is not intended to provide any sealed protection to the casket.

10. The reduction of human remains by intense heat and flame to ash and bone fragments.

11. A person who serves as the leader of a funeral service; may be an ordained member of the clergy or a lay person who has received specialized training on rituals and funeral traditions.

12. A Funeral or Memorial Service where the focus is on all aspects of the life of the deceased; their work, family connections, hobbies and interests as well as their accomplishments. This type of service may or may not include a religious component.

WORDS

____ Memorial Services ____ Funeral Service ____ Celebration of Life

____ Vault ____ Grave Liner ____ Columbarium Niche

____ Funeral Celebrant ____ Funeral Director ____ Cremation ____ Eulogy

____ Obituary. ____Alkaline Hydrolysis

Bonus Question: To Put a smile on your face. What is it?

A BEER … A BIER… A BEAR

· Comes in black, brown, and even black and white. Weighs between 300 and 1400 pounds! Is fuzzy and sleeps all winter.

· A stand on which a casket is placed before burial.

· A fermented beverage served very cold—it just hits the spot on a hot day.

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10 Ways to Customize a Funeral

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 25 Apr 2024 07:11:52 GMT

Funerals aren’t one-size-fits-all. One of the most important steps in funeral planning is customization. How is this funeral right for your loved one? How are you celebrating your loved one’s life through everything from the floral arrangements to the clothing they’re wearing? What makes this funeral uniquely your loved one’s funeral? Here are a few ways to customize a funeral for your loved one.

10 Ways to Customize a Loved One’s Funeral

1. Put together a community project.

When you’re thinking about how you can honor your loved one in their funeral, consider that you don’t have to do it alone. A community project to display at the funeral brings people together. Try to think of a project that fits something that your loved one enjoyed in their life. Maybe they were always in the kitchen, baking their favorite recipes. You could ask funeral-goers to contribute recipes that the decedent shared with them throughout their life for a recipe book. Or, if they loved to sew or crochet, you could make a memorial quilt, with everyone contributing their own granny square that they feel symbolizes the decedent.

2. Incorporate beloved items into a display.

Funeral flowers are a lovely way to honor a loved one, but consider taking the arrangements a step further and incorporating items that remind you of your loved one into the displays. If your loved one’s favorite thing to do was to be out on their surfboard, catching waves, build a floral display around the board. Or you could create a separate display outside of the floral arrangements. If your loved one received honors for their service in the military, for instance, you could build a section of the funeral where their metals could sit amongst photos of their time serving.

3. Have something for guests to take home.

The idea of funeral favors isn’t all that common, but it’s a way to have your guests bring something that reminds them of their loved one home. You could put together seed packets from your loved one’s garden if they were known for their green thumb. Or, if they were known for making the best jams and jellies around, use their recipe to make some small containers to give out at the funeral.

4. Make a memorial slideshow.

A memorial slideshow can be shown during the funeral, but it can also be put on loop to be projected throughout a viewing or reception. No matter how you choose to show your slideshow, it’ll be an homage to the life that your loved one lived. Ask family and friends to send you their favorite photos of your loved one, or ask them to put them all in a Google Drive folder to make collecting them a little easier. You could use slideshow services like Microsoft PowerPoint or Google Slides or a service that’s directly made for memorial slideshows, like Smilebox’s memorial slideshow maker .

5. Choose meaningful clothing.

It used to be more common that a decedent would be dressed in semi-formal clothing, but that tradition has been receding. Now, it’s considered less necessary to have a decedent dress more formally, and it’s more common for them to be dressed in a way that reminds funeral-goers of who they were. When you pick out clothing for your loved one, look for outfits that you have special memories of them in. If your loved one always wore their favorite colorful dress to every occasion, perhaps they should also wear it for their funeral. But even then, you don’t have to pick out clothing that they wore only to formal events. If your loved one loved their blue jeans, there’s no rule that says that they can’t wear them for the funeral.

6. Arrange for military honors, if applicable.

If your loved one was a veteran, you could plan to hold military honors at their funeral with the help of your funeral director. All honorably discharged veterans are entitled to military honors. By law, that includes an honor guard detail consisting of at least two members of the U.S. Armed Forces, one of whom must be from the decedent’s service branch. The ceremony includes the playing of taps and the folding and presentation of the American flag to the decedent’s next of kin.

7. Dine on their favorite foods and recipes.

Food has the power to bring back so many memories. To incorporate food into a funeral, you could plan a reception with all of their favorite meals. Another way to make food a part of the funeral is by baking a few of your loved one’s most beloved recipes and putting them out during the service. Pick recipes that are easy to eat and not too messy, like a cookie.

8. Organize a scattering ceremony at a special location.

A funeral ceremony isn’t the only event that you can plan for your loved one. You could also host a number of additional events, including a scattering ceremony if your loved one is to be cremated. A scattering ceremony is often very personal because you’re deciding where to spread their ashes based on what they loved in life. Although you can’t scatter ashes just anywhere, you can spread them in certain places like at sea or in a national park. Just make sure that you’re following all local, state, and federal restrictions.

9. Print photos for a display or scrapbook.

Sharing photos of your loved one adds to the celebration of your loved one’s life. There are many ways to make pictures a part of the funeral beyond the memorial slideshow. You could print poster boards of your loved one to greet guests at the entrance. Or you could make a collage to add to other displays around the room. Many funeral homes also offer photo printing as a service, so talk to your funeral director about your photo options.

10. Add music.

Music is a powerfully connective force, and if music was especially important to your loved one, find a way to add it to their funeral. You could make a playlist of their favorite songs to play during the viewing or hire a singer to perform one of their favorite songs during the funeral service itself. You could also hire a band or solo artist to perform at a reception.

Customizing a funeral looks different for every family, and you may have some of your own ideas about ways to make your loved one’s funeral personal to them. Whatever your ideas may be, talk to your funeral director about them. Even if you believe they may be challenging to do, funeral homes have plenty of experience turning those unique ideas into beautiful aspects of a loved one’s funeral.

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Why Preplanning is a Good Thing for Parents

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 25 Apr 2024 07:09:08 GMT

No one likes to imagine a time when they’re not around to help their children anymore. A parent’s job is never done, regardless of how old their children are. But there may be a time when a parent is no longer there physically for their children. However, there’s one final gift that any parent can give to their child. Preplanning your funeral as a parent can save your child from added pain and stress during an already challenging time.

Why Should Parents Preplan?

If you have several children, you’ll spare them from future spats.

When a parent passes away, it usually falls to the children to plan their funeral and disposition. But what happens when there are several children making decisions? Unfortunately, if they don’t know their parent’s wishes, those children will often butt heads because they all have different ideas that they want to follow. Everyone only gets one funeral and one disposition, so it’s crucial that they properly honor the loved one who passed. But each child may have a different image of what honoring their parent looks like.

By preplanning your funeral, your children will know what your wishes are. There won’t be any competing ideas that can result in arguments. There will be one set of instructions to follow — yours. During a time of great grief, emotions can run high, which can make even the smallest of arguments quickly compound. With your preplanning instructions, they can grieve together in peace instead of fighting while they should be spending time comforting and supporting one another.

If you have one child, you’ll spare them from becoming overwhelmed.

If you do have multiple children, you can take comfort in knowing that they’ll be going through the funeral planning process together. And while that can lead to fights, it can also lead to them feeling less alone during a lonely time, especially if you preplan to make arguments less likely. However, if you only have one child, they’ll be the only one making the decisions around your funeral. They may feel like they have no one to talk to, causing them to wonder if they’re making the right choices with no one else supplying their thoughts. The funeral planning process can feel overwhelming. There are many decisions to be made, from what types of services to have to where your final resting place should be. Losing a parent can trigger feelings of loneliness and isolation, in addition to powerful grief. But if your child has to plan every detail of your funeral and disposition while they’re already emotionally taxed, they may neglect taking care of themselves in favor of taking care of the funeral.

It’s hard to be an only child who lost their parent. There are no siblings there to comfort one another. Your child may find themselves feeling more alone than they’ve ever felt. By preplanning your funeral, you take the stress of worrying about the funeral off of them. You’re giving them a gift, saying that they can take care of themselves during this difficult time, rather than thinking about every detail of the funeral.

You’ll know that you’ve done your best to guide your children through the funeral process.

Parents never stop teaching. Whether your child is three or 43, you want to be a source of knowledge and guidance for them. Parents wish that they had all the answers in the world for their children, but one answer that they can give is what they want at their funeral and as a final resting place. Still, because talking about funerals and disposition can be uncomfortable, many parents neglect to have this essential conversation with their children.

When you preplan a funeral, you’re going one step further than simply talking about what you want. You’re giving your children a blueprint. Your children will know that they are hosting the funeral that you wanted, giving them peace of mind. They can mourn without any concerns about whether or not they’ve done right by your wishes. They’ll have your wishes written out for their guidance.

You can opt to prefund, saving your children from future financial woes.

Although you can preplan without prefunding your funeral, choosing prefund can spare your children from worrying about whether or not they can afford the funeral you deserve. Many believe that life insurance will cover the cost of a funeral and disposition, but the funds that your family receives through life insurance are often used to cover other end-of-life care, like medical expenses. At the time of a funeral, services must be paid in full. Without prefunding, your children may end up struggling to cover the costs.

When you preplan your funeral, talk to your funeral director about your option for prefunding. They can walk you through the different plans that can help you cover your funeral and disposition in full, preventing your children from having to worry about if their finances line up with the funeral you’ve planned. There are many different options for paying toward your funeral, so working with a funeral director can ensure that you’re using a plan that works best for you and your family.

The best way to preplan, whether you intend to prefund or not, is by working with a funeral home. Planning with a funeral home takes more of the guesswork out of arranging your funeral. Your children will know exactly where your plans can be found, and they’ll be able to work with a funeral director who understands your wishes. Preplanning your funeral with a funeral home is a free process that anyone can do. It’s the best way to ensure that your final wishes are honored.

Preplanning your funeral as a parent is giving a final gift to your children. Losing a parent is something that many people will experience in life, but the loss is always difficult. You can make this challenging time easier for your children by allowing them to grieve in peace without the worry of funeral planning.

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Memorial Service – Does My Casket or Urn Need to Be Present?

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Thu, 25 Apr 2024 07:06:55 GMT

A memorial service differs from a traditional funeral service in that it takes place after final disposition. Final disposition is either the cremation or burial of the deceased. So, the answer is no—neither the urn nor the casket need to be present at a memorial service. That said, in the case of a memorial service following cremation the urn may be present if that is the family’s desire.

Because a memorial service takes place after either burial or cremation have occurred, the urgency to put together a speedy service is removed. A memorial may take place days, weeks, or ever years after a death. This allows a family that is spread over a great distance with time to arrange for travel, time off work, return from overseas postings, or whatever would likely make it impossible for all to gather on short notice.

A memorial service also works well when a family prefers to be more creative in their farewell. The additional time supports the family’s efforts to arrange for music or food. It provides more time to gather photos, find appropriate readings, and find the perfect venue for the service.

A memorial service may be held just about anywhere. Many funeral homes have space designated for these services that includes audio visual equipment and, in some cases, catering and food service capabilities. Be sure to ask your funeral director for guidance and advice.

A memorial service may be faith based if the individual’s religion permits. Some religions require that disposition take place immediately after death, making memorial service the standard. Other denominations require the body be present for the religious part of the service, making a traditional funeral service a better fit. Again, your funeral director is well-versed in the religious traditions in your community and is an invaluable resource for putting together a service that supports your family’s faith base.

There are a few considerations that are best not overlooked when planning a memorial service. The amount of time between death and the memorial service can become protracted and that can create a burden for some family members. Be aware that many people have an acute need to gather with friends and family, talk about the person who died with others who loved them, cry in a safe place, and receive a much-needed hug. The memorial provides that opportunity and until it takes place, their pain is fresh; most people find a service helps put them on firm footing as they begin their grief journey. It is a good idea to check in with close family members and establish a timeline for the memorial service that takes everyone’s needs into consideration.

The second consideration is the “creativity” piece. When we have a traditional funeral service or a religious based funeral service there is a fairly clear roadmap. When that doesn’t fit for you, or your family, and you are not a creative group you need to speak up and ask your funeral director for help. Not every family has people who are comfortable with public speaking to deliver a eulogy or put together music or a photo slide show. Your funeral director is a resource, so feel free to ask for his or her help.

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Five Tips to Help with the Year of Firsts

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Fri, 12 Apr 2024 19:07:35 GMT

The first year following the death of someone dear—a parent, a child, a sibling, a spouse, or a good friend—is frequently referred to as “the year of firsts.” It will be the first time the holidays, birthdays, and the occasions both sad and happy that were shared and witnessed with the person who has passed will come and go alone, without the loved one. For most people it is a tough year. Still there are things that can be done to make experiencing these milestones easier.

1. Avoid being blindsided

Keep an eye on your calendar. Know what is coming. Be aware of the approaching anniversary, birthday, holiday or time of year when you always took a vacation with the person who has died is approaching. Do not let the day sneak up on you and catch you off guard.

2. Know that ignoring the occasion won’t help

When a sensitive occasion is noted on the horizon it may be tempting to think about just ignoring it and letting the day pass. That seldom works out well. Most find the loss of sharing the day with one’s special person cannot be ignored. Trying to do so may mean spending the day alone with a great big elephant in the room.

These are things everyone who has experienced a loss must go through. There is no going around. Grief is often likened to a journey. The first year is full of milestones encountered along the path to living life without the person who was loved. The end of the journey is not forgetting that person, it is finding a way to live life without the loved one in it.

3. Make a plan

Decide how you will mark the occasion. For some a trip to the cemetery will feel right. It might be a good idea to ask a friend or someone who shares your loss to come along. For others it may mean coming up with an alternative plan for spending a holiday. If the day was always celebrated with family at mom’s house and it is mom who has died, the family may all need to be included in how the day will be best celebrated.

4. Acknowledge your loss

Just as ignoring the day is not a good strategy, neither is ignoring the fact someone is missing from the celebration. Perhaps it will be appropriate to acknowledge your loss privately by making a visit to the cemetery or church to say a prayer or have a “chat” with your loved one. In some instances, you may find yourself spending the day with others who share your loss. In that case it may be lovely to include a mention, toast, or other remembrance of the one who died.

5. Include others

If you can, avoid spending the day alone. Do something with someone you love. It doesn’t have to be the same thing you always did with the person who is gone. While it may be enjoyable to carry on a tradition for some, for others the tradition may feel hallow when done with a “replacement person.” What you do should be something you enjoy. The idea is to own your loss, making an effort to celebrate the occasion in a way that is pleasant.

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Funeral Service and Veterans Benefits

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Fri, 05 Jan 2024 03:35:01 GMT

The Funeral Home is the best resource for understanding veterans death benefits.

The Federal Government provides a death benefit for honorable discharged veterans. The dollar amount varies based on where the death occurs (VA hospital) and if the death was service-related. In most cases the benefit is modest and will not cover the entire cost of a funeral, burial, or cremation. Your local funeral home is an excellent resource to help veterans and their families understand the benefit that is available.

www.va.gov

VA will pay up to $796 toward burial and funeral expenses for deaths on or after October 1, 2019 (if hospitalized by VA at time of death), or $300 toward burial and funeral expenses (if not hospitalized by VA at time of death), and a $796 plot-interment allowance (if not buried in a national cemetery).

Most funeral homes will provide a consultation and planning session at no charge upon request. It is never too soon to schedule a meeting with a funeral planner. Understanding exactly the benefit that will be available upon death is the best way for veterans to assure their family is not misinformed and thereby disappointed in the benefit they receive when death does occur.

The funeral planner will review the current benefits available from the U.S. Government. These benefits have been subject to change over the years, making obtaining current up-to-date information important. The planner will discuss your funeral service desires and your family’s funeral expectations and needs. The planner will also discuss the military graveside service and US flag that can be provided, if you desire, upon death. During your planning session you will also review final disposition options. Final disposition is a term referring to a person’s personal preference to be buried or cremated and the location of your final resting place.

During a meeting with a funeral planner the veteran will have the opportunity to ask questions about burial availability in a local Veteran’s cemetery, funeral service and memorial service options as well as review funeral products such as caskets and vaults that honor the different branches of military service.

It is a good idea bring a copy of discharge papers (DD214) to the meeting. Making a list of your questions and bringing it to the meeting as well will help to assure your questions are answered and nothing is overlooked.

It is also a good idea to ask the planner about any programs the funeral home has to help fill in the cost difference between the US Government Benefit amount and the estimated cost of the funeral service. Many funeral homes provide the opportunity to set up manageable payment plans to cover the gap. Some funeral homes even offer plans that provide coverage for the entire cost should death occur before all payments are complete.

Once a funeral plan is completed it should be kept on file at the funeral home along with a copy of the DD214.

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How to Get the Funeral You Want

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Fri, 05 Jan 2024 03:33:21 GMT

Don’t be afraid to ask the funeral director your question or to speak up and say what you want.

Some events only happen once in a lifetime. Graduations, weddings, and funerals are a few of these one-time occasions. That means the way the event is marked makes a lasting impression. If the cake at the wedding was supposed to be chocolate and it was not it does not ruin the marriage or even the day, but it can mar the occasion and it is usually the thing that is remembered. It was not right and it is never forgotten.

When a funeral is not “right”, when a minister mispronounces the deceased’s name, or the dress mom always told you she wanted to wear is not the one your brother chose, the hurt can go deep and last a long time. Getting the funeral right for your family is very important.

When you meet with the funeral director do not be afraid to speak up. Funeral directors are kind, caring people, but they are not mind readers. Tell your director what you want. Tell her what you do not want. Ask questions. Tell him about your mother, father, or spouse. Ask how to bring out what you loved about the person you lost. Treat the funeral director like you would a wedding planner. Share where family members are having a problem agreeing and ask for guidance.

Rules are made to be broken. If the number of pictures, songs, or readings recommended by the director doesn’t seem to match what you had in mind, speak up. No one at the funeral home wants your family to struggle to get the number of photos for the video down to twenty when what you really want is forty. If what you really want is for your deceased daughter to wear her cheerleading outfit for her visitation and something else for the church service speak up. Just because the body is usually dressed only once doesn’t mean it must be that way. Funeral directors know how important every detail is to the families they serve. They just don’t know what is important to you if you don’t tell them.

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What is a Green Funeral?

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Fri, 05 Jan 2024 03:31:41 GMT

The term “green funeral” refers to ceremony, service, and body disposition that focuses on preservation of the earth. Many of those who live “green” also wish to end “green”. Just as living green is carried out in different ways and with many choices, there are also many different methods of having a green funeral. Your funeral director is your best guide to the green funeral options available in your geographic area.

For one person living green may mean passing on the offer of a plastic straw. For others, green may mean living off the grid and bicycling to work. One can be all in, or just a little green. Funerals can also be greenish or very green.

Sometimes a green living choice comes with a cost savings and sometimes going green costs more. For example, you’ll use less fuel with a hybrid automobile. Using less gas will generate a cost savings. However, you will usually pay more for a hybrid car than for the same make and model that is not hybrid. Green is not about saving dollars—it is a lifestyle. A belief system motivated by a sense of responsibility for our home, the planet earth. It is a choice.

If you are motivated to pursue a green goodbye, you will be pleased to know that your choice will not require that you give up any of the healing aspects of a funeral service. Service, gathering, and viewing the body can all be included in a green funeral.

Funeral directors have access to environmentally friendly embalming chemicals. If your family prefers to have the body present for the funeral service that can be accomplished. Should a private family viewing be more in line with your green funeral plans, the body can be simply prepared without embalming to make that experience possible for family members.

Green cemeteries or green areas in traditional cemeteries usually do not require a burial vault or grave liner. The body is shrouded and placed directly in the earth or placed in a biodegradable container which is buried. Those who opt for a green burial do so because disruption to the earth is minimized. No harsh chemicals from embalming, no treated wood or metal casket and no metals or concrete from a grave liner are introduced in the grave space. If you remember our hybrid car example something similar occurs with green burials. In most cemeteries a green burial space will cost more than a traditional burial space, but you will not incur the cost of the vault.

For those who prefer cremation you will need to know that all cremators (the device where cremation takes place) are not created equal. Newer models tend to have a smaller carbon footprint. Ask your funeral director which providers in your area are the most environmentally friendly.

There are also many different green options when it comes to the final resting place for cremated remains. Cremated remains can be incorporated into objects that become family heirlooms, or, they can become part of an underwater reef. There is a nearly unlimited number of earth-friendly alternatives of what to do with cremated remains. When making funeral arrangements tell your funeral director that green is important to you and ask for help in finding service providers that support your values.

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What Helps When a Person is Sad?

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Fri, 05 Jan 2024 03:30:01 GMT

Some things are so simple that it’s easy to doubt their ability to help. In times of trouble, it is often the little things that make all the difference. Chicken soup when you feel a cold coming on, a hug, and a warm chocolate chip cookie all make a person feel better. Even though they don’t really fix the problem, they help.

Writing in a journal on a daily basis may seem like it’s too much trouble to undertake. Especially when a person is in the midst of major life changes like dealing with chronic illness, moving, divorce, or grieving. But journaling has been proven to elevate mood and really help people deal with crisis and loss.

A journal does not judge, a journal will not be uncomfortable with your sorrow, a journal will not try to “fix” you. A journal is a silent listener. You set the pace. It lets you have good days and bad days. A journal absorbs anger and celebrates joy. It helps a person move through the hard work of grieving.

If you know someone who has experienced a loss or is going through a difficult life change, give them a journal. If you receive a journal use it. It may take a while to become comfortable with writing on a daily basis. Stick with it. It takes a while to ingrain a habit.

Pick a time of day that works for you and set aside fifteen minutes to write. Some like to start their day with a journal entry. Others prefer to end their day with a few quiet minutes with the pen and a blank page. Write whatever comes to your mind. It’s not a novel. Spelling and grammar don’t matter. What you write doesn’t need to make sense or be eloquent.

What does matter is that you actually write, not type. Laying down words with a pen or pencil on paper is processed by the brain differently than typing. It just is. It also matters that you journal every day.

Writing in a journal won’t fix your problems, but it will help you grapple with and succeed at working through what ails you.

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Should We Have an Open Casket?

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Fri, 05 Jan 2024 03:28:30 GMT

“I was very surprised at my reaction. Seeing John in his casket wasn’t something I was looking forward to. His daughter (from his first marriage) really wanted an open casket. So, I agreed. Mostly just to remain on good terms with my stepdaughter. He looked so peaceful. He had a Mona Lisa smile. I am so glad I didn’t stick to what he and I had talked about. The opportunity for that last good good-bye ended up meaning the world to me… and his daughter.”

Many long-standing funeral practices, like viewing the deceased, are undervalued today. Perhaps we should think again? Maybe go slowly? Allow for individual family members to say goodbye in a way that is most meaningful to them.

There is a value to “seeing” the deceased. If you doubt that value think about what happens when there is a sudden, unexpected death. Body recovery is high on everyone’s list. Seeing is believing. Some family members may find an opportunity to see the deceased helpful. Some, like the woman who wrote the opening quote, may be surprised at the comfort the opportunity to see the person they love at peace brings.

The funeral director is there to guide you. Ask questions. How can we give my grandson an opportunity to see his grandfather? What if some family do not wish to see dad? Mom didn’t want an open casket but some of us would like an opportunity to see her one last time. What can we do?

Funeral directors are always willing and able to allow for individual family differences. A daughter who prefers not to view the body and grandson who would very much appreciate an opportunity for a face to face farewell. One need not exclude the other. Funeral directors have solutions. When you meet with yours, be open. Share your family’s needs and ask questions.

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Why Not Call the Funeral Director?

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Fri, 05 Jan 2024 03:26:59 GMT

Why not call the funeral director?

A husband and father of four dies suddenly. He languishes in the morgue at the coroner’s office for weeks because no one knows what to do and no one is empowered to act. The only thing the kids and grandchildren can agree on is that their father did not want to spend a lot of money on a funeral.

It is just downright crazy the things folks will do to work around the funeral home when a family member dies. Let’s get real about the widespread and totally unreasonable fear of working with a funeral director. The origin of the fear is the belief that funerals cost too much. Let’s take a look at the reality.

Funeral directors are educated professionals. Like doctors and lawyers, they meet rigorous state requirements in order to be licensed to practice. Funeral directors do expect to be paid for the work they do. However, unlike doctors and lawyers, funeral directors do not typically charge for a consultation. Which means a family can talk with a director about options and cost before they make a commitment to actually have the funeral home provide services.

A person should not expect this is something one should do on the fly over the phone. That is just unreasonable. You would not expect to call Macy’s and ask how much a pair of shoes will cost. Everyone knows it is not that simple. You are going to need to provide more information about the kind of shoe you need to get an accurate cost. In the same way there are literally hundreds of possible combinations of funeral services and products. The cost depends on what your family wants and needs.

So instead, call the funeral home and ask for an appointment with a funeral director to learn about options for service and cost. When you sit down with the director you will be presented with a general price list. This list will detail all the services and costs. What could be more up front than that? What other professional group will provide you with that kind of information?

Be prepared to share both your budget and what is important to your family. Please, do not let unreasonable fear keep you from getting the professional help your family needs when someone they love has died.

www.ballarddurand.com

Expressions of Condolences

mfiorillo@ballarddurand.com (Matt Fiorillo) — Fri, 05 Jan 2024 03:24:46 GMT

Back in the day, before embalming was wide-spread, flowers surrounded the casket and perfumed the air. Today, it is no longer necessary to have flowers scent the air. And yet, there is something comforting about the presence of flowers at a funeral.

Flowers are beautiful. What an amazing way nature has provided for life to go on. The flower is the promise of the future for a plant. Flowers are cheerful. They are calming. When we are the recipient of a floral bouquet or arrangement, we feel cared about, loved, and comforted. Flowers are visual. They are tangible. Family and friends can see the love that was directed at the person who has died. They can see the love that is directed at them in their time of sorrow. So, why not send flowers? Send them to the funeral home or to the home of family members.

If flowers are not how you would like to show your condolences, florists can also offer non-floral expressions.

Many florists also offer a variety of statuary, memorial pieces such as crosses or even throw blankets. Call your local florists and let them assist you with the perfect item.

Another option is to direct the money people would spend on flowers to a charity or a cause that was important to the deceased. A contribution is a lovely gesture of remembrance. Cures can be found, treatment provided, lives saved or enhanced, through charitable contributions.

If you are the family member deciding what to do - donations or flowers - there is no real right or wrong. Maybe you accept any form of condolences. Allow friends and family to express their feelings in a manner appropriate for them. Instead of using the language “in lieu of flowers” in the announcement just say, “Donations to __________ will be appreciated. Flowers or expressions of sympathy may be sent to .” That way folks can decide on their own how they want to show respect and provide comfort.

If you are going to a funeral and are undecided about sending flowers, a memorial item or a donation, do what feels good to you. If you think the family is likely to be overwhelmed with flowers you might pull together a group of folks, neighbors, co-workers, church friends, the bridge group, and send one floral arrangement or gift from all. If a charity has not been designated but you would prefer to contribute in remembrance of the deceased, contribute to a cause that is dear to you.

There is no right or wrong, sending flowers or a contribution, let the family know they are loved and the person they loved and lost was important.

www.ballarddurand.com

Grief is Individual

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It's Not Really a Funeral Plan if it's Not at the Funeral Home

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Should I Go to the Funeral?

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The History of Veterans Day

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Moving After a Spouse Dies?

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When the Soul Leaves the Body … Reacting to a Sudden Unexpected Death

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Who Will Take Care of My Funeral Plans?

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Get Your Family Involved in Funeral Planning

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How Much Do Funerals Cost?

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Food and Funerals

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What does the embalming room look like?

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Three things to include in your funeral plan

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Trouble Sleeping After A Loss

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Saying Thank-You to a Veteran

Thu, 10 Nov 2022 05:00:00 GMT

There are a million ways to say thank you. Great or small they all have value. · Decide to always just say thank you whenever you see a person in uniform.· When you see a person in uniform at the coffee shop or fast food restaurant pick up their tab if you can. · At the airport trade your first class or comfort seat for their standard seat· If you have a neighbor who is deployed offer to play catch with the kids or mow the lawn. Ask how you can help· Send a care package by contacting Operation Gratitude· Donate your old cell phone· Drive a Veteran to their doctor appointments (contact the hospital services coordinator at the local VA hospital)· Write a letter· Volunteer at a VA hospital· If you run a business hire a veteran - Hire Heroes USA· Donate dollars or time to train service dogs for veterans - Patriot Paws or Puppy Jake Foundation· Build a house for a veteran - Building Homes for HeroesBig dollars or only a few dollars, lots of time or only a little time, where there is a will there is a way to say thank you to those who serve in our military.ballarddurand.com Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Why don’t we celebrate life while the person is alive?

Fri, 28 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMT

The best gift ever for your adult kids

Fri, 14 Oct 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Gifts that please, surprise, are useful, and don’t break the bank are hard to come by.So, here’s one that no one will see coming. What if you could give the gift of being prepared? You can.Now is the perfect time to call the funeral home and get on the schedule to speak to the preneed person/advance funeral planner. Just get all your questions answered. Get a plan written and on file at the funeral home. That way everyone knows who to call, what to do, and maybe even how it’s all going to be paid for. Does your family need this gift? Here’s a test. When you order a pizza does everyone want the same toppings? If your family takes a bit to decide or you always order half this and half that, a funeral plan will be a terrific gift. If your family is blended, then absolutely this is a perfect gift. If yours is a second marriage, for sure they’ll all appreciate this gift one day. If your kids are all equally successful, agree on everything, belong to the same church, they will still love this gift!No one will expect your gift of a completed funeral plan. No one will need the receipt to return your gift. Your gift will not be too big, too small, too out of style, or re-gifted. It will absolutely be used someday. It will be appreciated.www.ballarddurand.com Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Every day is full of moments. Moments charged with opportunity.

Fri, 30 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Moving on with life after the death of a loved one

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Where are you now? Three to six months after the death of a spouse

Fri, 02 Sep 2022 04:00:00 GMT

“When I Die, I Just Want You to …”

Fri, 19 Aug 2022 04:00:00 GMT

The Best Insurance Purchase You Will Ever Make

Fri, 05 Aug 2022 04:00:00 GMT

The storm passes and we are once again caught up in our love/hate relationship with insurance. Typically, we pay and pay and then we pray we don’t ever need to file a claim. No one wants to have their house burn down or blow away. But, it is also hard to write that check every month. Most folks do so because they are afraid not to.However, there is one kind of insurance you will absolutely use. You’ll get more than you paid in, and you don’t have to pay endlessly.Funeral insurance, not to be confused with final expense insurance, is the rare insurance product designed to cover a cost that you absolutely will incur. We all die in the end. So, how does it work?Funeral insurance is sold through your funeral home. The amount of the insurance matches the cost of your funeral in today’s dollars. It can be paid in one payment and you are done. Or, you can pay over three to 20 years and be covered for the whole cost of your funeral while you pay. It’s easy to find out more. Just call the funeral home and ask to speak to someone in the advance planning department. You will want to set aside one to two hours for your meeting with the advance planner. You will have questions. Remember to ask how funeral insurance is different from final expense insurance. www.ballarddurand.com Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

After the Funeral: How Are You?

Fri, 22 Jul 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Funerals are Changing … but Grief is Still the Same.

Fri, 08 Jul 2022 04:00:00 GMT

Vanished Without a Trace

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Preparing the Eulogy

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Scam Protection

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Age-Associated Financial Vulnerability

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Celebrating Grads and Grands

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Cheap Funerals

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Cheap Cremation

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Spring: A Fresh Optimistic Start

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Embalming … What Funeral Directors Do

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What Do You Do With Cremated Remains?

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What to Expect with Cremation?

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Cremation or Burial… is That the Question?

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Normandy’s Hallowed Ground

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Nice Looking Funeral Home Doesn’t Mean Expensive

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Three Ways to Support Someone Who is Grieving in Isolation

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The Holidays Aren’t the Same This Year

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Cremation Society or Funeral Home

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Funeral Home Near Me

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How to Thank a Veteran

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Flowers and Funerals

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The gift of a note to your family

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Finding YOUR Joy

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Preserving the Family Relationship while Planning a Funeral

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Making the Funeral About the one who Died

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Top three priorities for those who are grieving

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Do I really need to attend the funeral?

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Where should I send my condolences?

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Make Family the Foundation for Funeral Planning

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How to dress for a funeral

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Families who lost a loved one to COVID-19 can apply for funeral cost assistance

Tue, 30 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT

MARCH 30, 2021 – Featured on News12 Westchester“Families who lost a loved one to COVID-19 could receive financial assistance to cover funeral costs.FEMA is offering financial assistance of up to $9,000 to help families who lost loved ones to COVID-19 recoup their funeral expenses.The agency says it will begin funeral assistance in April, and that families should start to get their paperwork together now.You’ll need:-An official death certificate that attributes the death to COVID-19 and shows that the death happened in the U.S.-Any receipts related to costs from the funeral home, transportation and burial plot.FEMA will launch a hotline for families to connect with caseworkers who will help those eligible register. The families will then be given access to an online portal to submit documents.”Click here to view the news clip Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Families who lost a loved one to COVID-19 can apply for funeral cost assistance

Tue, 30 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Therapy dog that served families in White Plains funeral home dies unexpectedly

Tue, 23 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT

MARCH 23, 2021 – Featured on News12 Westchester“A place where families go to mourn their loved ones is now grieving a loss of their own.Ballard-Durand Funeral Home in White Plains is mourning the loss of their beloved therapy and comfort dog, Lulu.The 6-year-old goldendoodle died unexpectedly.Owner Matt Fiorello says Lulu will be deeply missed.“People are never comfortable coming to a funeral home, and their comfort is what we strive for. And so to see a disarming, walking teddy bear, kind dog, it never got old for me to see her do her thing,” says Matthew Fiorello, owner of Ballard-Durand Funeral Services.”View the news clip by clicking here Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Beloved Therapy Dog at White Plains Funeral Home Passes Away

Sun, 21 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT

MARCH 21, 2021 – Featured on TheExaminerNews.com“Lulu, a therapy and comfort dog for the families of Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services, unexpectedly passed away on Mar. 10.In 2015, Lulu the golden doodle, became Westchester's first therapy dog to serve families in a funeral home. Like those used in hospitals and nursing homes, Lulu acted as a source of comfort and love in times of emotional distress.Families who requested her presence could soothe their grief by stroking her soft fur or merely enjoying her supportive companionship.”Read the story by clicking here Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

How to Say the Right Thing at a Funeral

Fri, 19 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT

What to expect at a funeral

Wed, 17 Mar 2021 04:00:00 GMT

Control funeral costs by planning ahead

Fri, 05 Mar 2021 05:00:00 GMT

What Do Funeral Directors Do?

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7 Tips For Dealing with Grief and the Holidays

Wed, 09 Dec 2020 05:00:00 GMT

For The Safety Of Our Community and Our Staff

Tue, 30 Jun 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Inside a NY Funeral Home During the Coronavirus Crisis

Tue, 12 May 2020 04:00:00 GMT

MAY 12, 2020 – Featured on NBCLX“If medical workers are the first responders of the coronavirus crisis, then funeral home staff may be considered the last responders. As the death toll of the pandemic has soared in hot spots across the country, funeral homes have been tasked with handling the remains of the unprecedented numbers of deceased and finding new ways to comfort their families who have to say good-bye in isolation. At the same time, they need to be vigilant about keeping themselves safe from the deadly virus. In our "Frontlines" series, we profile one of the people in the middle of this crisis. Matthew Fiorillo is president of Ballard-Durand Funeral Services in White Plains, New York. He says he's been scared every day for his own health and the health of his staff. But the crisis has forced him to put the families he serves first. "As soon as I get through the front door, my focus shifts," he said. "And I don't have time to be scared anymore."’Click here to view the video clip Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Ten Freedoms for Using Ceremony During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Thu, 30 Apr 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Grieving a Coronavirus Death: Help for Special Circumstances

Tue, 28 Apr 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Choose Your Focus

Sat, 28 Mar 2020 04:00:00 GMT

How to Talk to Children About the Coronavirus Pandemic

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What is Seasonal Affective Disorder?

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Hospice Caregiver Award- August 2019

Tue, 17 Sep 2019 04:00:00 GMT

This month we were so proud to honor another Caregiver of the Month recipient, Almany Bonilla of Hospice of Westchester! She was nominated for her selfless and caring attitude and going the extra mile when helping families enduring stressful situations. We love being able to recognize these extraordinary members of our community and award them with a crystal award plaque, a beautiful floral boquet, and a $100 Amazon giftcard. To nominate a deserving caregiver in the area – a selfless hospice professional, physician, or nurse – please visit https://ballarddurand.com/caregivers/nominate/ to nominate them to win our monthly caregiver award. Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

3 Tips for Helping Children and Youth Understand Funeral Services and Death

Tue, 03 Sep 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Ongoing Grief Support

Tue, 23 Apr 2019 04:00:00 GMT

Grief doesn’t just stop after a funeral or cremation service. Because the grieving process varies from individual to individual, we offer ongoing grief support. We invite you to read this article and contact us if you need help.You can call us at our White Plains location at 914-949-0566, at our Elmsford location at 914-592-6300, or by filling out our Contact Us form (select “Aftercare/Grief Support”). Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Grief During the Holiday Season

Mon, 10 Dec 2018 05:00:00 GMT

Easing the Burden

Thu, 08 Nov 2018 05:00:00 GMT

Liz King shares her powerful experience with Ballard-Durand. Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Nationally Recognized for 10 Years

Wed, 17 Oct 2018 04:00:00 GMT

It is with great pleasure we announce our induction into the National Funeral Director Association's (NFDA) Hall of Excellence, having received the NFDA's Pursuit of Excellence Award for 10 consecutive years in recognition of a consistent display of professional and ethical excellence and providing outstanding service to families and the community. Ballard-Durand is now 1 out of 162 funeral homes in the U.S. and 49 other countries around the globe to earn a place in the Hall of Excellence. Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Hospice Caregiver Award- July 2018

Wed, 03 Oct 2018 04:00:00 GMT

This month we were happy to award the Caregiver of the Month to Kathleen Ghegan of Hospice of Westchester! We love being able to recognize these selfless members of our community. We were proud to present her with an award plaque, a floral bouquet, and a $100 visa giftcard in appreciation of the kindness and compassion she displays each and every day. To nominate a deserving caregiver in the area – a selfless hospice professional, physician, or nurse – please visit https://ballarddurand.com/caregivers/nominate/ to nominate them to win our monthly caregiver award. Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Suicide Prevention

Fri, 24 Aug 2018 04:00:00 GMT

National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255National Resources:Save.orgSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services AdministrationLocal Resources:Westchester CountySuicide Prevention Center of New York Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Hospice Caregiver Award- April 2018

Fri, 06 Jul 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Congratulations to our April Caregiver of the Month, Robin Thomas from Hospice of Westchester! Robin was nominated for the personal attention she gives to each person she meets, her selfless and hardworking spirit, and her advocacy for animals. We were proud to present her with an award plaque, a floral bouquet, and a $100 visa giftcard in appreciation of the kindness she displays each and every day.If you know a deserving caregiver in the area – a selfless hospice professional, physician, or nurse – please visit https://ballarddurand.com/caregivers/nominate/ to nominate them to win our monthly caregiver award. Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Hospice Caregiver Award – February 2018

Wed, 28 Mar 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Our February Caregiver Award Winner was awarded this week! CAREGIVER of the Month is Herma Stewart, Day Nurse for the Haven Residence at The Kensington. Herma was nominated by the Director of Nursing Mary Ann Durso and the Executive Director Celina Watson for her positive impact on the physical as well as spiritual well-being of the patients, their families and staff. We surprised her monthly staff meeting with cookies, flowers, a plaque and a $100 Amazon gift card! Executive Chef Norm Fintz provided delicious refreshments and also joined us for the presentation. Herma is pictured receiving her award from Matthew Fiorillo, Jenna Triano and Joseph Murray of Ballard-Durand. Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Hospice Caregiver Award – January 2018

Wed, 28 Feb 2018 05:00:00 GMT

At Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services, we hear about the wonderful work hospice caregivers do for families in the Hudson Valley every day. In 2018 we have started our Caregiver Award Program to honor these dedicated people for the great care and comfort they bring to patients and their families.We are excited to share the winner for the month of January – Sun Young Keum from Hospice of Westchester! Matthew Fiorillo and Jenna Triano were happy to present her the award for excelling in the care and compassion she shows to her patients.Do you know a selfless hospice professional, physician or nurse? If so, we invite you to visit our page to nominate him or her for the caregiver award. The award is given on a monthly basis to thank those who offer comfort and support to those they serve. Don't miss out on this opportunity to thank those who make a difference in the lives of others every day. If you would like to nominate a hospice caregiver or co-worker who you believes exemplifies what it means to be a hospice caregiver, please fill out a nomination form here: https://ballarddurand.com/caregivers/nominate/. Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

A Husband’s Love

Thu, 21 Sep 2017 04:00:00 GMT

Hear Michael Bizzoco describe his amazing experience with Ballard Durand Funeral and Cremation Services. Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Meet Jenna Triano

Tue, 18 Jul 2017 04:00:00 GMT

Jenna Triano Jenna serves as Ballard-Durand's family care coordinator, facilitating many different details of a funeral service. Her voice is often the first a family hears when they call the funeral home.Jenna strives to ease the burden a family experiences after a loss and assist the funeral directors in providing comfort and unmatchable personal service.Jenna graduated with an Associates of Applied Science from Eastwick College. She currently resides in Rockland County with her husband. She enjoys spending time with her family and volunteering at her local animal shelter. Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Meet Lulu

Tue, 06 Jun 2017 04:00:00 GMT

Lulu, a golden doodle, our newest staff member came to our Westchester County funeral home organization by way of Florida and has been trained for duty as our official Therapy Dog. Affectionately called the firm's "Comfort Companion," Lulu follows the lead of service dogs often used in health care settings, such as hospitals and nursing homes, and provides families with unconditional love and support, as well as a subtle distraction from their grief.A fixture at both funeral homes, Lulu is often seen lounging around the office and is only introduced to families upon their request. Although extremely friendly and very outgoing, the staff of Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services is quick to offer treats to any visitor who may want to play with her. Lulu will gladly take up her post in the main hallway of the home and welcome visitors in.Always known for thinking "outside of the box," Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services is the only firm in Westchester County to have a "Comfort Dog" on staff. Lulu found a special niche at the funeral home where she soothes grieving families with her calming presence. The funeral home does everything within its capabilities to make its facilities warm and comforting - we're not your typical funeral home. Outside of her duties, Lulu is a cheerful family dog, and loves cuddling with her family at home, going for walks, and playing in the yard. Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Lulu the Therapy Dog Gives Funeral Mourners a Furry Shoulder to Cry On

Fri, 16 Sep 2016 04:00:00 GMT

SEPTEMBER 16, 2016 – Featured on People.com“Funerals are difficult for everyone. Dogs tend to make everything a little bit better.Lulu the therapy dog is the result of these two truths.The 2-year-old goldendoodle spends her days comforting the mourners at Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services in Westchester County, New York."She's an added source of comfort," Matthew Fiorillo, who owns the business and is Lulu's pet parent, told The Washington Post. "She has a calming presence. She's a social dog who loves people and has great instincts. She'll curl up into a ball and lay down next to an older person, or jump around with kids. She especially helps the children, since not all of them understand death."’Click here to read the full story Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Meet Lulu-A goldendoodle that soothes the grief-stricken

Fri, 09 Sep 2016 04:00:00 GMT

SEPTEMBER 19, 2016 – Featured in the Miami Herald"Lulu, say a prayer,'' Matthew Fiorillo tells his 2 1/2-year-old goldendoodle. Hearing the command, Lulu, a therapy dog who comforts mourners at Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services in Westchester County, New York, puts her paws up onto the kneeler and tilts her head down."She's an added source of comfort,'' says Fiorillo, who owns the business. "She has a calming presence. She's a social dog who loves people and has great instincts. She'll curl up into a ball and lay down next to an older person, or jump around with kids. She especially helps the children, since not all of them understand death.''The idea of having a therapy dog in his funeral practice came to Fiorillo in 2013 after a storm hit New York and he found himself stuck, like many others, in the Miami airport, unable to get home.Read the full story here. Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

This Funeral Home Therapy Dog is Helping Grieving Families Heal, One Smile at a Time

Thu, 07 Jul 2016 04:00:00 GMT

JULY 7, 2016 – Featured on Countryliving.com“Everyone deals with grief differently, and for many it’s all about the healing process. At Ballard Durand Funeral & Cremation Services, in White Plains, NY, they understand the importance of honoring lost loved ones, and in order to help grieving families heal, they’ve brought in a special helper.Lulu, an adorable two-year-old Goldendoodle, has been the funeral home’s certified therapy dog since May 2015.Dogs like Lulu offer a certain healing power; called a “Comfort Companion,” she provides affection and support to those in need.“Humans need to touch,” funeral home president Matthew Fiorillo told TODAY. “Even just petting her can be a subtle distraction from the tremendous amount of grief people are going through.”‘Click to read the full story Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Funeral Home Gets a Therapy Dog to Help Clients Cope with Grief

Tue, 05 Jul 2016 04:00:00 GMT

JULY 5, 2016 – Featured on Barkpost.com“Experiencing the loss of a loved one is devastating. It is the most stressful, disorienting and agonizing event we can suffer through. For some, the process of planning and attending the memorial services for their deceased companion is more than they can bear.One White Plains, NY funeral home has found a way to ease that burden, if only for a short while.”Read the full story here Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Funeral home therapy dog brings comfort and unexpected smiles to grieving families

Tue, 05 Jul 2016 04:00:00 GMT

JULY 5, 2016 – Featured on Today.com“After she lost her beloved brother Stephen just days before his 25th birthday, Chelsea Sules thought she’d never smile again.But she ended up finding healing and comfort in an unexpected place: Lulu, a funeral home’s therapy dog.“I walked into the funeral home and Lulu came running toward me and my sister,” said Sules, 26, whose brother died on June 17.“We (were shocked) when we started giggling. She immediately started to comfort us just by her presence alone.”The affectionate goldendoodle became the newest “staff member” at Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services in May 2015.”Read the full story by clicking the link Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Therapy Dog Lulu Joins White Plains Funeral Home Staff

Tue, 07 Jul 2015 04:00:00 GMT

JULY 7, 2015 – Featured in the White Plains Daily Voice“WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — Service dogs have long been used in health care settings such as hospitals, nursing homes and universities. Now, a White Plains funeral home has found a new therapeutic use for man's best friend.Ballard-Durand Funeral and Cremation Services, 2 Maple Ave., has added Lulu, a certified therapy dog, to its Westchester County funeral homes."She's a priceless gift for our staff and the families we serve. We're partners," said Lulu's owner, Matthew Fiorillo, CEO of Ballard-Durand Funeral Homes, in a statement. "She's wonderful and extremely curious. "She's allowed to wander anywhere in the funeral home; we have little jars of treats in several areas to engage her."’Read the full story here Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Funeral homes increasingly using dogs to comfort mourners

Sun, 14 Jun 2015 04:00:00 GMT

JUNE 14, 2015 – Featured in the Chicago Tribune Online“Sandy Del Duca was mourning the death of her father when Lulu, a curly haired goldendoodle, came bounding down the stairs at the Ballard-Durand funeral home.Del Duca thought Lulu was simply the pet of funeral home owner Matthew Fiorillo, who she was meeting to make arrangements. But the dog also works there - one of an increasing number of dogs being offered by American funeral homes to comfort mourners.It didn’t take long for Del Duca to be won over.“That dog looked into my eyes and I was done,” Del Duca said. “She seemed to know just what I needed. A funeral is a funeral, it’s not a great thing. But that dog gave the service a family atmosphere and made it more of a celebration.”‘Read the story by following this link Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.

Ghost riders in the sky: Funeral home offers motorcycle hearse

Sun, 05 Oct 2014 04:00:00 GMT

OCTOBER 5, 2014 – Featured in the Reno Gazette Journal OnlineBallard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services was featured on the Reno Gazette Journal in a news piece highlighting our motorcycle hearse, which is an option for families to honor a loved one.See the link below to view the news feature that was aired on October 5th, 2014.Click here to watch the video Ballard-Durand Funeral & Cremation Services has been serving the families of White Plains and surrounding communities for over 100 years. The funeral home offers both burial and cremation services at their locations in White Plains, Elmsford, and Beacon, New York. Ballard-Durand is committed to serving families with personal attention, competitive pricing, quality merchandise, and premier facilities. For more information, please visit our website ballarddurand.com.